He was just here…wasn’t he?
“Stardust,”Creed says, but his words sound like they’re underwater. He jerks me hard, and I stumble back into his chest, my eyes now welling with unshed tears. My back is sealed to Creed’s front as he envelopes me in a vise-like hug.
His citrus scent invades my senses, but Riley’s clean scent is there, too.
Creed doesn’t let me go despite my struggles. Instead, he just holds me tighter. “Baby,please.”His voice is strained, choking off at the plea that falls from his lips.
I blink away the tears as something catches my eye that has my whole body locking up. The blood drains from my face as the words beneath the angel come into clarity:
In loving memory, always our angel
Riley Benjamin Graves
September 7, 1999 - June 20, 2024
No.
No.
No, no, no, no.
My knees give out, and I collapse. Creed follows my descent, keeping me from hitting the ground. Part of me is angry that he protected me because I’d welcome the physical hurt over the eternal pain ripping through my heart. The agonizing cry that claws its way from my throat sounds like a sob derived from all-encompassing grief and despair.
“No,” I whisper, shaking my head. I’m in full denial of what I’m seeing. “He’s not gone. He’snotgone. He?—“
My words are nonexistent as my voice fails me time and time again, calling out for Riley as I clutch my stomach, my body doubling over in indescribable pain at the loss of half of my soul.
He’s gone. He can’t be gone.
I hear a voice trying to get my attention, but my world is slowly fading in and out of reality. I can’t tell where the voice is coming from as my universe spins out of control.
The loss of Riley is too much to bear; I refuse to accept a world where he doesn’t exist in it.
Creed’s hands are in my hair, his forehead presses against mine as he tries to calm me, but his words are inaudible to me. I can’t hear a thing through the ringing in my ears. A dizzying sensation rushes through me, and I realize that I’m now on my back. I can’t see anything around me as darkness pulses in my vision.
I barely comprehend that Creed is hovering over me, his icy blue eyes trying to pierce through me, but I feel as if I’m losing the battle of consciousness. The sky behind him begins to shift and change, the sun disappearing and darkening the world around us.
“Focus on me, baby, come on,” he urges, but I can’t. I can’t when it looks like his head is splitting into two, another face starting to take shape next to his.
I’m sobbing uncontrollably as tears run in a steady stream down my face, saturating the hair at my temples.
Nothing is right in this world if he’s not a part of it.
“Riley.”His name comes out as a sob, and I swear, I can feel that second set of hands wiping my never ending tears.
“I know,” Creed says, almost reassuringly. “I know, baby, he’s here.We’rehere.”
I want to tell him to shut the fuck up with his placating bullshit, but my lips are numb. I’m forced to roll to my side as my small frame is swallowed up, enveloped by a warm, hard body. The clean scent penetrates the sorrow and I relax fractionally.
“Come back, Snow.”His voice is a shock to my system, and my world tilts on its axis again.How fast can one lose their sanity in the face of grief and despair?“I’m here, baby, come on. Open your eyes andseeme.”
“See you?” I whisper, my jaw chattering with the shivers and tremors uncontrollably wracking my body. More warmth sidles up to my back while arms band around my belly.
“Yes, Stardust.” Creed’s voice is clear and confident, forcing a portion of the anguish that is still present to slowly drain from my body.
A calloused hand grips my own and is brought in contact with skin. The touch remains featherlight but urges me to explore. The tips of my fingers trail along the soft curve of a cheekbone before I feel two familiar scars.
My breath hitches when the person cocooning my front shifts, and I feel soft lips press to my forehead, then the tip of my nose, before finally sealing against my mouth. “See me.”Kiss. “Feel me.”Kiss.“I. Am. Real.”Kiss. Kiss. Kiss.
