There is no ‘me’ without Collins and Riley.
My life, my veryexistenceon this Godforsaken planet now rests entirely upon the beating of both of their hearts. It’s been that way from the moment they both entered and re-emerged back into my life. There’s no way I could survive losing either of them.
That’s why I’m mentally beating that brief moment of doubt with a proverbial baseball bat right now because theyarealive, and I’mgoingto find them. Once they’re safe in my arms, I’m going to spend the rest of my life equally loving the shit out of them while simultaneously becoming a helicopter boyfriend because I am never taking my eyes off of them ever again.Ever.
My dad’s deep, rumbling, authoritative voice barks out my name, and it pulls me from my thoughts. My head snaps up, his bright eyes searching mine to make sure he’s got my attention before he goes back to pulling the glass from my knuckles. “You have been yellin’, screamin’, and cussin’ up a fuckin’ storm for two weeks. You’ve been lashing out and destroying your room. You’ve lost your fucking mind over these two, and yet you’ve told me fuck-all about them since I’ve been here. Don’t get in your head, Son,” he says, and I hiss at the last large shard he pulls from between my knuckles with a force that feels a little rougher than necessary. I’m about to snap at him, but eyes so similar to mine burn through me, and it’s got my jaw wired shut.
“Don’t get quiet now, and don’t lose yourself to that darkness that’s reeling you in. Be angry, but keep your fuckin’ head.”
“That’s exactly what I said,” Asher says while typing away on his phone.
I want to roll my eyes, but I know they’re both right. I roll them anyway because now it feels like they’re ganging up on me.The fuckers.
After Dad finishes bandaging my hand, he washes his own before sitting in front of me again. He taps a single finger to my temple twice before leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest. “What’s happening up there? Talk to me, Credence. Give me the pieces to this broken puzzle in your mind.”
“What do I say, Dad? Huh?” I start, tossing my hands up in the air, at a loss for words. In a world where I never seem to shut up, right now I don’t know what to tell him. “Do I tell you how I couldn’t do what you’ve been doing for the majority of your adult life by protecting the people I love? How I’ve failed over and over andfucking overagain? Tell me, Dad, do I confess how I made a promise and broke it?” My voice rises until I’m yelling, and I shoot out of my chair, knocking it backwards. I’ve grabbed Asher’s attention, too, seeing his head snap up at my harsh shouting. I begin to pace the floor, my thoughts and words becoming manic. “They were taken from me! Right from under my fucking nose. Ijustgot her back. I had a plan, and I made them both mine. I fuckingsworeI would keep them safe. What a fucking joke I must be because I didn’t. I failed, Dad,” I choke out, my chest heaving. “I. Fucking. Failed.”
I spin around to face my father, hands gripping my hair so tightly that the roots strain painfully against my injuries. “I. Fucking. Failed.”I repeat through gritted teeth as my bandaged fist bangs against my chest with each painful syllable.Breaths attempt to saw into my lungs as I inhale, but it fucking hurts. Everything hurts without them. My vision swims, and a cracked sob wrenches itself from my chest. “Dad, I?—”
Strong arms wrap around me, my father’s hold keeping me firmly planted on my feet instead of collapsing like my body is threatening to do. Dad just holds me together, his strengthrefusing to let me break apart. I won’t let the tears fall again, but I will take this moment to pull my shit together.
When my dad finally releases me, he pulls me over to the small living space and gestures for me to sit down next to Asher, who is watching me warily. He gives me one firm squeeze on my knee before turning our attention to my father, who clears his throat while taking the single seat adjacent to ours.
“Better?” he asks, raising a dark brow at me.
“Yeah,” I rasp awkwardly, trying to clear my throat.
“Good,” he says on a sigh, clasping his hands together and resting his elbows on his knees. “Now, I’m going to circle back to what you told me when you first called me to tell me about this entire situation—you told meshe’s everything, and she’s mine.”
Asher’s head snaps in my direction at that, and I meet his eyes head-on. I let him see the truth because there’s nothing to hide. He knows how I feel about his sister, but knowing a fact and hearing it come straight from someone’s mouth are two separate things.
I meant every word.
Collinsismy everything.
One of them, anyway.
She shares that spot with Riley now, and I have every confidence that she wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Who isshe,though?You kids must think I’m a mind reader, because nobody fuckin’ tells me anything around here,”Dad retorts, throwing his arms out to the side in defeat, and it has Asher’s eyes rounding in surprise.
“You didn’t tell him?” Asher whisper-shouts at me.
“No—” I whisper-shout back.
“Tell me what?”
“Creed—”
“Asher—
“Fucking hell?—”
“In case you missed it,Ash, I’ve been in fucking crisis mode. It hasn’t exactly crossed my mind to playmeet the parents,” I snap, but immediately feel like an asshole.
“Credence—“
“Stop fucking calling me that,” I groan at my dad.
