AYLA: I’m sorry about what happened to you. We were not aware that your mom worked at the restaurant, otherwise we never would have booked it.
ME: I know you wouldn’t have. I didn’t know either. Nothing to be sorry for.
Even my textssound as numb as I feel.
AYLA: Bear took her phone when she pulled it from her pocket. Asher’s scanning it now to make sure she didn’t have anything harmful on it.
Wouldit matter if she did? The world is bound to find out what happened one way or another. Not that I want speculation to circulate before Collins and I have had the chance to set the story straight, but still. It’s inevitable.
I’m standing at my dresser, rummaging for something to wear after a shower, when a soft knock raps on the door. My head snaps to the side, but I don’t move to answer it.
“Yeah?” I call, continuing to dig, not really seeing what I’m looking at.
“Riley?” It’s Collins. “Can I come in?”
How could I possibly ever tell her no? I want to be alone, but I can’t stand the thought of being away from her either.
My hands tremble as I cross the room, squeezing my fists at my sides before cracking open the door. I’m practically plowed over when the door is shoved open and Creed barrels inside, Collins following timidly on his heels. Both of their arms are loaded with bowls and bags of snacks.
Mysnacks.
Mysecretsnacks.
I look at Creed, who just shrugs as he pushes himself back against my headboard and drops his trove of sugar in the middle of the bed. He helps Collins next, and she sets herself up at the end of the bed, tearing into the bag of M&M’s. My gaze swings to her, and she just gives me a look that saysWhat?and it pulls a quiet laugh from me.
“Enjoying yourself, Snow?” I ask, walking over and helping myself to a handful.
“Mhmm, immensely,” she answers around a mouthful of chocolate. “A deal’s a deal, and I needed my loot.”
“Fair is fair,” I grumble, but it’s lighthearted. Grabbing a random shirt and sweats from my dresser, I hike a thumb over my shoulder. “I was just going to shower real quick. This afternoon was…fucking weird, and everything’s a bit fuzzy, so I was going to…wash it off.”
I wince at just how awkward I sound, but it doesn’t deter Creed.
“Need a hand?” My face flames at the memory of the last time he offered to “help” me in the shower. I shake my head, though, and disappear into the bathroom before I can fully register the rejection on Collins’ face.
Zoned out, I wash myself over and over and over. Trying absentmindedly to cleanse my body and mind of my mother’s words.Disease. Ruin. Break. Destroy.
Scrub.
You’re fine.
Erase.
You’re fine.
Cleanse.
You’re. Completely. Fine.
COLLINS
Creed blows out a long, exasperated breath and runs his slender fingers through his messy, black strands. Leaning back to prop himself up on one elbow, he pops a handful of sour candy into his mouth and chews slowly.
My thoughts travel back to earlier this evening as I stare at the palm of my hand.
“His mom really is a cunt, isn’t she?”
Creed chokes over my words and starts to cough, his fist beating against his chest. I can’t stop the chuckle that bubbles up, and Creed throws one of his candies at me. I gape at him when it hits me square in the forehead. Another lands on my tongue, surprising me.
