With a half-hearted threat to talk about our ‘time in the studio’, aka Creed pestering us for details about having sex in the recording booth, we all exit the car and join the rest of the crew. We can hear the distant click of cameras, but luckily, the lot has been blocked off to prevent other vehicles from entering.
Collins runs ahead when she spots Ayla waiting in the doorway. Creed is talking animatedly with Blair while Bear stalks quietly ahead of them. He holds the door open for Creed,Blair, Asher, and me, but before I can walk through the doors, I’m stopped.
“I guess it makes sense that if you’re going to associate yourself with a group of tacky degenerates, that you act like one, too.”
Bear stiffens as his eyes shift, hardening on the person standing just behind me. The blood drains from my face, and a cold sweat breaks out across my body. Instantly, I feel sick to my stomach, and I squeeze my eyes shut to ward off the rising nausea.
“Turn around and look at me, you ingrate.”
Bear looks like he’s ready to kill someone, but I shake my head when he steps away from the door. “Don’t, Bear. Please.” I sigh, my good feelings completely gone. “I-I’ll handle it. Just…don’t tell Creed.”
His eyes find mine and narrow. “I’m not keeping shit from him, Ri. Especially when it comes to you and Collins.” He runs a hand over his neatly trimmed beard and backs toward the door. “I’m giving you two minutes before I let him off his leash.”
I nod, thankful that he’s giving me any time at all to take care of this on my own.
The moment he disappears, her voice becomes even more menacing than before.
“What are you doing here, boy?”
Slowly, so fucking slowly, I turn around and come face to face with the one person I’d craved love from, but could never earn.
My words are choked as I take her in, my heart squeezing until it cracks.
“Hi, Mom.”
Chapter 34
Riley
“YOU’RE FINE.”
“Iasked you a question,” is all my mother snaps in response.
My heart is thumping so hard in my chest, forcing the blood to whoosh at deafening levels in my ears. She looks the same but tired. Her frown is more pronounced with wrinkles and fine lines, dark circles hanging heavily beneath her eyes. Though I don’t understand why, considering all she could do was brag about how much better her life was without me, with each and every voicemail she left on my phone for years after I’d moved out and in with Creed.
I do my best to stand still and not shuffle from foot to foot. Trying to feel strong when just one look from her makes me feel three feet tall.
Stuffing my hands into my pockets, Itryfor nonchalance. There’s no denying that seeing her again feels like my world has shifted on its axis, and a dizzy wave of longing sweeps over me. She’s never treated me as anything more than the dirt beneath her shoe, but I can’t help the way my battered heart cries for the mother I wish had loved me the way I deserved. I try to school my expression, and I can only hope that she believes it.
“I’m j-just having dinner with friends and…family.”
My mother has the nerve to look hurt by my words. “Family?” she laughs, but there’s no humor behind it. “What family, Riley? Because from where I’m standing, they’re nothing more than a bunch of money-grabbing delinquents who don’t know the meaning of the wordloyalty.” She tuts, crossing her arms over her chest; it’s then that I notice the uniform and name tag she’s wearing.
She works here.
My brows draw together, confused by her description. “Loyalty? Mom, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“You always were a dense little boy.” She scoffs. “Tell me, whose idea was it to swindle fifty thousand people out of their money? The disappearing act was one that I saw coming from a mile away, knowing you were a part of it, but nobody believed me when I tried to warn them.”
Her words hurt more than I expected them to. She’s been cruel to me my whole life, but it never gets easier to hear the vitriol flow so effortlessly from her lips.
“N-nobody swindled anybody, there was a—” A bang against the back door of the restaurant makes me jump, and I turn to see who it is, but it’s still closed.
“God, look at you,” Mom breathes. I hate how badly my heart yearns for those words to mean something kinder than she intends. Turning around, I force myself to meet her icy glare. She’s not looking at me, though. She’s staring directly at my scars. My ear. “Some family you’ve found there, Riley Benjamin. Real winners, the bunch. I can only imagine the shit they’ve dragged you into to come out looking like that.”
The big metal door opens again, quietly this time, but I keep my eyes on my mother. The last thing I want to do is show her my scars again, let alone allow whoever is behind me to see the shame I wear anytime I’m in her presence.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about. They would never hurt me.”
