I can hear my fears and apologies, my ache to be a good mother.
Sweet Girl,
Darling Pearl.
You see I hid the truth,
I didn’t want you to know —
Why your good father had to go.
So I ran away,
Thought at least that way
I could be a
Good Mother.
In the state I’m in, I can’t write or sing aloud, but somehow I can see the words of the bridge dancing across my brain.
I wanted so much, and I can’t be sorry
for wanting so much,
that need came from inside me.
I wanted to be a star, shining bright,
wanted a man who lit up the night,
I wanted fame,
to win the game,
And I wanted to give you my own name.
I wanted it all, but never more
than I wanted to be your Good Mother,
Baby Girl.
The song won’t have a catchy chorus or a bouncing melody. It will never be a hit like the singles Joni Jewell drops for her fans. But it’s something true, and that’s all I care about now.
Now I only want to tell you why I lied,
Why I didn’t turn the tide.
I’m so sorry, Little Girl,
So sorry, Precious Pearl,
But I believe there’s still time
Gonna do it right, gonna walk the line.
Like magic, I canhearmy girl singing along. It’s been so long since she’s spoken to me, but I know her voice as well as my own. It’s my favorite sound. I can still hear her begging me to take her to the beach like she did when she was very young.
