“You’re the one who followed me in here.”
“Well, you didn’t exactly leave me much choice. You ran from the theater and headed in here to hide.”
“I was not hiding.” Even as I said the words, I knew neither of us believed them. “Whatever. You have me. Talk.”
He sighed and dropped his shoulders. “I’m sorry.” He wasn’t putting on a show for a change. “I was a right bas—“
“Stop! Warning. You’re not allowed to cuss here. It’s one of Eldridge’s rules of festivity.”
“You’re kidding me?”
“Christmas bells, I wish I was. See, right there, I’ve internalized it. But yes, you were a downright pile of deer droppings who gave himself a permanent spot on Santa’s naughty list. And as far as I’m concerned, you can go suck on the North Pole until you choke on it.”
“Well, that was…colorful, yet creative.”
“You get used to it after a while. We’ve created a whole lexicon of ways to cuss without getting on Eldridge’s bad side.”
“She’s a piece of work, isn’t she?”
“You have no idea. She shows up once or twice a week, and chaos ensues. Anytime I see her, I expect the worse.” I looked at him and said, “Back to your apology. I expect groveling.”
“I’m sorry. I never said that after your accident. And well, I never had the guts to approach you after it happened. Not even on the day when you came to move out of our apartment. I didn’t know how to tell you.”
“Tell me what?”
He paused before saying, “I was never bi. I was always gay. You were my beard for years. I always assumed that no one would ever figure it out if we were together. Being bi was cool and sexy. It made one look edgy. Being gay was blasé. It was like a bad stereotype.”
“Well, you could have at least told me before I had to find you making out with Zach on stage.”
“That’s what I’m saying. I am so sorry for that.”
“Sorry for what, exactly? I knew you were bi. You’d been in a relationship with guys before we dated. That didn’t bother me. What bothered me was that you cheated on me behind my back!” I heard my voice rising.
A sudden knock on the door broke my attention. Kerrie Klark, one of the other cast members, poked her head into the room. “I really hate to bother…whatever this is. But a few of us out here need to use this bathroom for something beyond fighting.” She pushed open the door, and a small line had formed behind her. I grabbed Asher by the arm and dragged him from the women’s restroom to an alcove, away from prying eyes and ears.
“I never intended to hurt you. I never intended to hurt anyone. You probably don’t know, but Zach never talked to me after that.”
“Okay,” I said in a tone that clearly said, “and I should care about this why?”
“I may have told him we had an open relationship. He thought you knew about the two of us and that you were okay with it.”
“Oh, for Frosty’s sake! Are you elf-ing kidding me? Was there anyone you weren’t lying to?
“You’re right. I was lying to everyone. Worst of all, I was lying to myself.”
At that moment, I saw Asher for what he was…a broken child who was now trying to grow up. “The part that hurt the most was that I lost not only my lover…I lost my best friend. You really hurt me.”
“I know I did. Trust me, I know I did. Years of therapy later, I’m able to admit how I handled everything wrong. I was mad it all got out. I shouldn’t have started those rumors about you hating bisexual and gay men.”
“I always knew that was you,” I said, some of my anger coming back into my voice.
“I was childish. I hoped I could drive the attention away from me back to you. It never worked. I watched as your gay following grew. I was considered a pariah in the gay community for a long time. I was that little gay boy who broke Erika Saunders.”
“Really?”
“Oh yeah. The gays really stuck up for you. And when you started your cabaret act, everyone talked about it. The world knew that your show was because of me. And they sided with you.”
“Well, the gays and me have always been thick as thieves.”
