“Well,” Darrin said, extending his hand. “It was nice to meet you.”
I offered my hand, saying, “Likewise.”
“Let me be perfectly frank,” Darrin said. “I don’t think we’re a match.”
“Whoa,” I blurted out. “Where did that come from?”
“Well, you clearly had your mind on other things this evening and did not participate in our conversation. Personally, I would recommend you try to engage more with future dating partners. I also found it rude that you let your fans interrupt our dinner for an autograph. Do you have any feedback for me? Since it’s blatantly clear we’re not a match, I might as well get feedback.”
Maybe that’s because you never shut up. “Well, I would start by not talking about the law so much. You didn’t once try to bring me into the conversation.”
“Hmm…that’s not how I saw it. But it’s always good to see how things are perceived from the opposition’s standpoint.”
“Okay,” I stammered out of my mouth.
“As for you, I would recommend several things. First, I would wear a less revealing sweater on the first date. Second, I think your makeup was heavy-handed. In the future, I would advise going for moregirl next doorinstead of astarlet on the prowlat night. Frankly, I couldn’t imagine taking you to meet my parents dressed like that. Third, you should work on your conversational skills. I gave you ample opportunity to join in my conversation, but you missed all the cues. Fourth, I would have advised against the dessert. You could have said something like, ‘Why don’t we share,’ which would have brought you closer to my sphere while we ate. I’m sure I’ll have some more ideas once I process them. I’ll forward them to Katherine, and she can get them to you.”
I stared at him. He expected me to say something. I stood there, gobsmacked. I had several ideas for him, and the first one would be where he could shove his advice.
“As such, I do not see any future with you. I wish you the best. Please tell Katherine I did at least try this time.” With that, Darrin turned and hurried down the street, leaving me aghast.
I stood there watching Darrin flee as the Uber pulled up. The driver smiled at me, and I slid into the back seat. I immediately pulled out my phone and texted Johnny.
Erika: You won’t believe what just happened.
Johnny: Do tell.
Erika: My apartment. 25 minutes.
Chapter 15
Ihadjustenoughtime to get into my apartment and throw on some pajama bottoms and a sweatshirt when I heard the knock on my door. I walked over and opened it.
“Gurl,” Johnny drawled. “I come bearing alcohol. From your texts, I could tell it was wine-o’clock.”
“Thanks,” I said, holding the door open for Johnny. Bootsy made a quick dash for the door, but I got it shut before he could escape. Seeing that he was defeated again by his human adversary, Bootsy made his way back to the couch and curled up in a ball.
I walked into the kitchen and pulled out the wine opener and a couple of glasses. Johnny had the corkscrew out in no time and poured me a glass.
“So, spill it. What happened?”
I spent the next thirty or so minutes going over the date in every detail, from the initial handshake to watching Darrin flee.
“Wow, the gall of that guy! I can’t imagine what that was like.”
“Exactly!” I said with frustration. “No wonder I’m single. The guys in this town are gay, married, or crazy.”
“Just remember, good things come to those who wait,” Johnny reassured me.
“I remember your dating life. You didn’t exactly wait that much,” I said, lifting the corner of my mouth in a smile.
“Hey, tell me about it. I had to kiss a ton of frogs before I met Amani. Eventually, you kiss enough frogs—or lawyers—and one is bound to turn into a prince.”
“Or you end up with a bad case of warts. With my luck, I’m going to kiss one of those Amazonian rainforest frogs that secretes a deadly toxin.”
“Come on, Erika. You’re getting back into the dating saddle. You’re going to hit a few rocky patches before you get into the swing of things. As of right now, your batting average isn’t great, but it can only get better. Look at that, I made a sports metaphor.”
“I know you’re right, but it’s tiresome after a while. After Asher, I couldn’t deal with a lot of stuff. And now that I finally think I’m ready to date again, the men I find are totally damaged goods.”
