“Ahh…heck, why not?”
“Awesome,” Katherine sung in her falsetto, which garnered a few looks from people around the table. “Are you free any night this week?”
“Basically, I have rehearsals and vocal lessons. That’s about it,” I told her, wondering why I’d agreed to go on another blind date.
“Perfect! I’ll text him at our first break.”
There was a clearing of a throat. I pivoted my attention to Rebekka Eldridge, who now stood at the front of the table.
“Good morning, team,” she said. “I know the first week was wonky as we all got our sea legs. After thinking about the show and where it was headed this weekend, I had a brilliant spark of inspiration.” Something about how she said the last part made me queasy inside. “The show wasn’t…festive enough. It needs more Christmas spirit. Suppose you go back and watch the original movie. In that case, it’s only really considered a Christmas movie because of the first part of the movie. We need to rethink everything and make it considerably more joyful. I want this show to be the ultimate holiday musical.”
San Nicolás quickly burst into applause. The rest of the table joined in with polite applause.
Eldridge waited for the applause to wane before she continued. “After discussing the show with the artistic team over dinner,” she started. I looked over at the artistic team, and their stone-cold faces told me everything I needed to know. Clearly, the creative team looked blindsided. “I’ve heightened the holiday spirit of the show. I went through the scripts and did my best to make them jollier.” Eldridge said, looking around the room for the intern. “Aarya, please pass out the new scripts.”
Aarya appeared with a box of binders and started handing out the updated scripts. Part of me wanted to complain since I’d spent time yesterday memorizing the new lines I’d been given, but I kept my mouth shut. Aarya came over and they handed me the new binder. My name was printed on the top of the binder. The title had changed fromBeyond TomorrowtoThe Naughty List. I opened the binder and looked at the cast. I can only imagine what my face looked like when I read that my character’s name had changed. I was no longer Michael O’Brien. I was now listed as Tinsel Hollicane. We were now listed as The Elves. Katherine’s character was now called Icelyn Candywine, and Peeter’s character was Blitz Nightwish.
“As you can see,” Eldridge started. “I’ve updated the three tycoons and made them North Pole elves living in New York City.” She said this with such excitement. She clearly thought everyone else would be as enthusiastic about these changes as she was. Instead, the room sat there in stunned silence, unsure what they were supposed to do with the new information. She gave a broad smile and sat down.
San Nicolás stood to address the group. “I know these changes are complex and add new dimensions to your characters, but I think these changes will be beneficial for ensuring the long-term success of the show.”
I looked around the table and watched as everyone nodded. From what I could see, most people didn’t agree with the sentiment, but everyone was at least willing to see where this would take us.
“This morning,” San Nicolás started again, “we will read through the new script. We’ll also be looking for places where we think we can enhance the holiday vibes of the show, so don’t be surprised when we have more rewrites as the week goes on.” He turned his head and looked at the composer, lyricist, and book writer. “Our joyful team here,” he said, gesturing to the three, “have their work cut out for them this week. They’ll be updating the script and coming up with new musical numbers all week long, so be prepared for lots of changes.”
We sat there quietly until Peeter said what everyone was thinking. “What the f—“
“None of that,” Eldridge snapped. “We want to keep in the festive spirit of the show. Think like elves would think. Instead of usingdirtywords, say something like…I don’t know…what the fudge?”
“Is shefudgingkidding me?“ Peeter asked under his breath.
San Nicolás looked at the group and could tell they needed a moment, so he said politely, “Let’s take a break. When we get back, we’ll start working our way through the new script.”
As people got up from the table, I leaned back and sat there in stunned silence.
“Well, it looks like I need to update my vocabulary,” Peeter said. He paused for a second, clearly in deep thought. If I tried hard enough, I could almost see the steam coming from his ears. “Son of a nutcracker,” he said. “Or maybe, Mother Frosty the Snowman…or maybe Not Today Santa.”
I turned my head and looked at him. “What are you doing?”
“Well, the producer doesn’t want us to usebadwords, so I’m festivizing my vocabulary.”
“Festivizing?” Katherine and I said in unison.
“Let’s face it, this show is turning into a real elf-ing mess,” Peeter grumbled.
“Go elf yourself,” Katherine responded before bursting into a giggle fit.
“What the elf is wrong with you two?” I asked. I couldn’t help myself.
“Well, Kiss My Artificial Tree,” Katherine said, using a southern twang that reminded me of Flo from the nineteen-seventies television showAlice.
“Holly Fudge,” Peeter said, “You two are a bunch of ice-holes.”
“Go stuff yourself in a stocking,” I responded. “Or better yet, eat coal.”
The three of us burst into a fit of giggles, which caught Eldridge’s unwanted attention, so we smiled and left the stage to take our break elsewhere.
I went to the bathroom quickly before heading back into the theater. Most of the cast had trickled back in when I got back inside. One person was visibly not there, Eldridge.
