Erika:I can’t wait to see you again. Let’s get coffee sometime this week.
I hit send and walked the half block to the nearest Duane Reade. I entered the drug store and headed toward the pet food section. I bypassed only a handful of people in the store. I picked out seven cans of Bootsy’s favorite brand when I heard a loud voice on the aisle over.
“I’m sorry, honey. You know how things are here in the city. I wish I could make it home tonight, but I missed the last train to Westchester.”
I recognized that voice. I’d just been on a date with that voice. Hugging the cat food tins to my chest, I tiptoed to the end of the aisle and poked my head down the next aisle to find Ralph on the phone. While he was talking, I noticed something that hadn’t been there while we were on our date, a wedding ring. I gasped and pulled my head back as Ralph’s head turned in my direction.I hope he didn’t see me. Please don’t let him have seen me. I crept away from the aisle.
“Tell the kids I’m sorry I won’t make it to church tomorrow. The show isn’t doing very well, so I’m going to be in the office all day. I’ll be home Sunday night, I promise… Love you too… Good night.”
I made my way to the back corner of the floor and stood there for twenty minutes. I put the cat food on the ground and texted Johnny.
Erika:Ralph Seegers is married. Did you know that?
Johnny:What? I thought he was single. How do you know he’s married?
Erika:I caught him on the phone with his wife and saw that he’d put on a wedding ring, which most definitely was not there on our date!
Johnny: Sorry! I didn’t know. Let’s talk revenge scenarios tomorrow.
When I finally hoped the coast was clear, I made my way to the front counter and paid for the cat food.
Chapter 11
Beforeheadingtobed,I put fresh food and water out for Bootsy so he wouldn’t get me up in the morning. I learned a long time ago that an empty Bootsy dish meant an annoyed Bootsy who would do everything in his power to annoy me until I finally broke down and fed him.
The sun woke me the following morning around 10:00 a.m. I was not in the mood to be awake yet, so I rolled over and pulled the covers over my head, blocking out the light. I finally rolled out of bed an hour later and made coffee. I put on my slippers and looked out on my tiny balcony to find that a light layer of early morning snow hung around in the shaded areas.
“Hmm… I didn’t know we were expecting snow overnight,” I said. “Bootsy?” I called.
I heard ameowfrom my couch. I looked over and found a white furball nestled in a blanket. Technically, the blanket was a throw blanket, but Bootsy preferred it for his personal nesting place at night. At first, I tried chastising him every time he yanked it from the back of the couch, but I quickly realized that the battle was long over, and I wouldn’t be winning it any time soon.
I walked over and rummaged through my cabinet, deciding what brand of coffee I wanted. Did I want something flavored, or did I want something bold? Being forced to make any kinds of decisions before noon and without caffeine should simply be illegal. I pulled the regular, bold coffee and put it in my coffee pot. When I went in for my annual physical this year, my doctor asked me how many cups of coffee I drink a day. Without thinking, I had responded, “Does a pot count as one or two cups?”
Once I poured the first cup, I went over to the couch and unplugged my iPhone from where I’d left it in its charging cradle. I flipped through emails. I had some new pages to learn for the show. Nothing too radical, but I figured I’d wait to run lines that evening. I then checked out my social media, email messages and texts.
Johnny: Again, So, so, so sorry Seegers was married. Again, didn’t know.
I shot Johnny back a quick text, reassuring him that it wasn’t his fault. I knew Johnny well enough to know that he would sit and stir until I reassured him that I didn’t blame him for Ralph’s infidelity.
Ralph: Had a good time last night. Hope to see you again soon. Want to take you up on that offer for coffee. - R
“Are you kidding me?” I mumbled at my phone.Blocked!
Bootsy looked over at me as if asking the human to “simmer down now. One of us is sleeping.” And yes, I totally know that I anthropomorphize my cat. In my mind, he’s a little furry human who happens to be mute. Some of my best conversations happen with Bootsy.
After I’d finished coffee number one of the morning, I searched my fridge for food. I opened the fridge door. I had condiments, milk, and wine…the breakfast of champion cat ladies everywhere. There was a box of pizza pockets in the freezer that had been there since the world began. I dusted the freezer burn off the box, opened it, and popped one into the microwave.
While the frozen pizza pocket was cooking, I poured myself coffee number two of the morning. I figured that I’d be ready to shower by the time I got to coffee number four. By coffee number six, I’d be ready to leave the apartment and do laundry.
Ding!The bell on the microwave dinged. I reached in and touched the pizza pocket, and immediately regretted that decision. I ripped my finger back out of the microwave. I didn’t think I’d kept my hand on it long enough to burn myself badly, but I ran my hand under cold water, just in case. After drying my hands on a dishtowel, I ripped off a paper towel, folded it in half and grabbed my pizza pocket. I was at least smart enough to know that sticking my tongue in the pizza pocket was not a smart move. I blew on its edge and took a small bite to taste it. It had a kind of pepperoni pizza gooey center. Part of me almost felt bad that I was eating the pizza pocket when I had access to New York-style pizza within feet of the building’s entrance, but that would require me to actually leave the comfort of my home. Instead, I ate the perversion of authentic pizza. It was, surprisingly, not bad tasting. Sure, it didn’t have the extra layer of grease coating the top of the pizza like I get out on the street, but it was edible.
After I’d finished my brunch, I had cup of coffee number four and decided it was time to shower, so I crawled back into bed and took a short nap instead. I wasn’t feeling in the most productive mood.
I hauled myself out of bed an hour later. I might as well have been a petulant child having a fit on the ground, pounding my fists and feet, yelling, “I don’t wanna go to school!”
With complete reluctance, I dragged myself back into the kitchen and drank two more cups of now-lukewarm coffee. Hey, beggars can’t be choosers. And at that moment, I wasn’t in the mood to heat the coffee in the microwave or make a new pot. Of course, Bootsy eyed me from his perch on the couch. He was clearly still annoyed that I was making so much noise.
With more coffee in my system, I was ready to face the world. Well, face the laundry facilities in the building. I ran through the shower quickly, and threw on some leggings and an oversized sweatshirt I’d kept from a boyfriend years ago. What can I say? I loved the sweatshirt more than I loved him. I gathered up the laundry I had to do—along with my iPad—and headed down to the basement.
