Holy shit.
“I want to be there,” I said, my voice firm. “I want to sit down with her and tell her I’m her dad. I want to?—”
“I know you do,” Nova interrupted gently, her tone softening. “I need to do this in a way that’s healthy for her. I need to make sure it’s not confusing or overwhelming. And I need to know you’re sober.”
“I’m married,” I blurted out, the words tumbling out before I could stop them.
Nova’s eyebrows lifted. “You’re married?”
“Yeah,” I said, nodding. “To a teacher at the school. That’s why I was there too. We, uh, recently got married.” I hesitated,fumbling for the right words. “I know that doesn’t exactly prove I’m sober, but I’ve been happy. I don’t drink. I—” My voice faltered, and I looked down at the table, unsure how to explain everything that had changed.
Nova relaxed her grip on her cup.
I swallowed hard, leaning forward. “I’ll follow your lead,” I said quietly. “However we approach this, I promise, I’ll do it your way. But I want to be there. I need to be there. I have money, a house—I can show you, we can make one of the rooms into?—”
Nova let out a soft laugh. “Let’s start with the basics.”
I nodded eagerly, my heart pounding. “Okay,” I said, barely able to keep the desperation out of my voice. “Tell me about her. Tell me about my daughter.”
Her face lit up, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips. “Her name is Scarlette,” she said gently, her tone laced with emotion. “She’s four. She loves books, animals, and drawing... She’s got the biggest imagination. And her laugh? It’s the kind of laugh that makes you want to laugh with her, no matter what’s going on.”
I hung on every word, trying to picture her, to piece together a life I hadn’t been there to see. Each detail Nova gave felt like a gift—a glimpse into the world I desperately wanted to be a part of.
“She’s got your eyes.”
I smiled softly, thinking of all the ways that my life was going to change. “Please, can I meet her?”
Nova looked outside the window momentarily before she looked back at me. “I think that would be okay.”
I closed my eyes, knowing damn well I was crying and not caring.
“But Austin, if we do this, then we have to do it together. I don’t want her... taken away... from me.”
She was crying, tears falling quickly down her face.
“I raised her. I’ve been there every single day. I can’t—I won’t let her be taken away from me.”
My chest tightened. “Nova,” I said firmly, meeting her eyes. “I don’t want to take her away. I promise you, we can do this together. As a team. I don’t want you to be anything but happy.”
I would take anything she would give me at this point. I owed it to her. I was the alcoholic. I was the reason I had no relationship with my daughter. It was me. There was no one else to blame but myself, and if I got angry at Nova for doing what she thought was best for her child, I’d be a hypocrite.
Was I sad that I had let myself be put in this position? Absolutely.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there,” I whispered. “I remember how hard postpartum was with my mom and... you were all alone.”
I thought of her mom who had passed.
She smiled. “I had Luna,” she said softly. “Ollie was there too. He’s... a really good guy, Austin.”
While a pang of jealousy briefly crossed my heart, I was glad she had someone who was there for her.
She pressed her lips into a thin line as she nodded, her eyes glistening. “I’m glad you’re happy.”
I squeezed her hand gently, my voice soft. “I’m glad you’re happy, Nova. Truly.”
She studied me for a moment, her lips twitching into a faint smile. “I was worried there might still be... lingering feelings between us,” she admitted hesitantly.
“If this were a few years ago, maybe there would’ve been,” I said honestly. “But as much as I love you as a person, Nova, I love Charlie. My wife.”
