“Oh, absolutely not your fault. We were out on the playground this afternoon, so we dismissed from there. I sent an email to your parents earlier, letting them know, but they might’ve been tied up at work.”
Thank God I hadn’t completely messed this up. Relief washed over me, and I reached down for Evie’s hand. “How about we grab some ice cream to make up for this?”
Her face lit up, and she nodded eagerly, her small hand gripping mine.
I smiled at her teacher, grateful. “Thank you so much.”
As we made our way down the hallway, Evie skipping along beside me, I paused in front of Ms. Honey’s door. Through the window, I could see her sitting at her desk, her long, wavy blonde hair catching the soft light as she typed away on her computer. She looked so calm and at ease as she worked. There was something magnetic about the way she carried herself. I had to wonder if she dealt with the same demons I did.
I shook my head, snapping myself out of it, and gave Evie’s hand a gentle squeeze. “Come on, let’s go, little sis.”
7
austin
“Thank you so much for doing this for me.”
My mom wore her usual jeans and café shirt. Her curly hair was piled on top of her head in a messy bun, a few strands escaping around her face. She set a plate of spaghetti in front of me and slid money over, then gave my shoulder a squeeze, a small gesture of gratitude.
“You’re paying me, Mom. You don’t have to thank me.”
“Well, I want to. I feel terrible I didn’t tell you about the change of location after school?—”
“It’s fine.” I held up a hand, not wanting her to dwell on it.
She pulled out a chair next to me and sat down. From the next room, I could hear Evie’s laughter as she played.
“Thanks for staying for dinner.”
I looked over at her, really seeing her for the first time that day. She seemed drained, her shoulders slumped forward. “How’s the café?”
“Ugh,” she sighed. “It’s fine, but everything seems to be breaking all the time. Today I had to manage the electrician who fixed the broken lighting in the bathroom, but with the new manager coming in, I’m hoping to be able to get the weekends off.”
“You deserve it, Mama,” I whispered before taking a bite of the spaghetti.
My relationship with my mom was always complicated. I loved her deeply, but I’d always wished we could be honest with each other. I wished she saw me as more than the kid I used to be. There were things we didn’t talk about—things I wanted to bring up but never had the guts to because I didn’t want to be chastised or treated like I didn’t know what I was talking about.
“So, Ledger mentioned you asked him about health insurance today.”
“Mhmm,” I muttered, shoving another forkful of spaghetti into my mouth, hoping it would serve as a distraction from the conversation that was coming.
“What’s going on, Austin? Why the sudden need to ask about health insurance? I thought you had your own insurance, which was paying for your facility.”
I swallowed hard, the bite of spaghetti sitting heavy in my stomach. This was exactly the kind of conversation I tried to avoid, the kind that made me feel like I was under a microscope.
This is why I don’t talk to you.I could feel my defenses rising.
I remembered what Ralph said:the leaf, not the whole tree.One thing at a time. The leaf wasn’t explaining everything that led me to this moment; it was focusing on this conversation with my mom.
“Mom. I’m twenty-six and on your insurance. I had no idea they were kicking me off. You should’ve gotten notice. They give a grace period.”
My mom looked down at her food and then glanced behind her shoulder. I followed her gaze. A pile of mail sat on her counter. “They probably did email, but with the café opening and Evie starting school, I may have missed?—”
“Okay, well, then that’s the reason I had no idea what was happening and why I asked Ledger about the insurance,” I bit out, hating that anger was the first emotion I experienced.
She played with the napkin in her hand, folding it repeatedly.
“We need to talk, Mom.” I inhaled, the words feeling like sandpaper against my throat, but I needed to get this out before she said anything else, otherwise the anger would consume me, making me resent her like it had in the past.
