Jacob shook his head, unimpressed. “Seriously. What’s going on? Is it about that new husband of yours?”
I sighed and set my fork down. “I know I’ve been a crap sister lately, but ever since I told Mom, I’ve felt so isolated. Like I’m cut off from the only family I have left.”
“I never cut you off. You know how hectic it is on the farm during the fall, so I was managing everything... It’s my fault for not checking in with you.”
“I didn’t want to burden you with this,” I said softly, my eyes dropping to the table. My voice wavered as I continued. “And I didn’t want you to judge me. Something happened and... I just need you.”
The admission tasted bitter, and I hated how much I meant it. I needed my brother—someone who’d tell me what to do, someone who’d give me a hug, the kind of hug I knew I’d never get from Mom. I needed it from him.
“Tell me,” Jacob said gently, reaching across the table to rest his hand on my forearm.
“I don’t want you to freak out or start judging me,” I said, barely above a whisper, unsure if I could even handle what might come next.
Jacob shook his head, his expression steady. “I’ve never been like that. Mom, maybe—but not me. I’m here for you.”
I took a deep breath and finally started talking. The words came out in a rush, tumbling over each other as I told Jacob everything—about Austin, the surprise baby with his ex-wife,and the truth about why we got married in the first place. I laid it all out, every messy detail, while he sat quietly, listening.
When I was done, the silence hung heavy between us. I avoided his gaze, afraid of what I’d see there. It felt like ripping open a wound that was still bleeding. I’d told him, and there was no taking it back.
“Wow,” Jacob said as he grabbed his wine and downed it. “Wow.”
“I know.” I swallowed audibly. “It’s a lot.”
He nodded a few times and stood from his chair. “Why are you here, Char?”
“What do you mean?” I pushed out of my chair and met him by the window. “I’m here because this is a lot.”
“Do you love him? Do you want to stay married to him?”
Jacob wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me close as we both stared out into the darkness stretching across the city.
“I love him so much it hurts,” I whispered, the words slipping out without hesitation.
I loved Austin with everything I had. I loved his flaws, his imperfections?—
“But what?” Jacob asked softly.
I shook my head and stepped out of his hold, crossing the room to sink into the couch to our right. The layout of his apartment made it impossible to escape completely—everything was essentially one large, open space. Still, the distance gave me a moment to gather myself, to breathe through the ache building in my chest.
“Am I selfish for wanting to be his first at something? I feel like it’s been taken from me.”
“Do you think he loves you?” Jacob asked, and he settled on the couch next to me.
“Yes. I know he does.”
I knew Austin loved me because of the ways he showed me every day. He picked me up from school with Evie. I knew he loved me when he came with me on Sunday mornings to the market in the fall. I knew he loved me when he got me a hot dog with ketchup and no mustard when we went to the hockey games to watch Dirks play. I knew Austin Hart loved me because every single day, he tried to make it easier for me to live.
“Then why are you upset? You should be with him.”
“You don’t even like him. Why are you siding with him?” I playfully slapped my brother, but he grabbed my hand when it made contact.
“Stop joking. I’m being serious, Charlotte.”
I stiffened. He only called me by my formal name when he was trying to prove a point.
“I don’t get it. You’remybrother. You’re supposed to side with me. I thought you’d freak out because you found out we got fake married for benefits?—”
“Ha.” Jacob let go of me. “You think I didn’t already know that, Charlie? Of course I did. I may not know all the details, but I know you. You don’t just up and marry someone without a reason.” He turned to face me, smirking. “The timing alone told me there was more to the story. But I knew better than to push until you were ready to tell me.”
