I nodded, and she released me.
“Let me get you a coffee.”
Ledger stayed quiet, his mug in hand as Mom poured the coffee into a matching mug. She returned a moment later, setting it down in front of me with a reassuring smile.
“Thanks,” I muttered, curling my hands around the warm ceramic.
“Should we wait for Charlie?” Ledger asked.
I shook my head, staring down at the steaming mug in front of me. “She’s not coming,” I said quietly. “She... left.”
Mom and Ledger exchanged a glance, but neither of them said anything, waiting for me to explain. I took a deep breath, my hands tightening around the mug as I tried to find the words.
I told them what happened this morning with Nova, with Charlie, and with Scarlette. They both listened intently.
“I don’t blame her,” I admitted, swallowing the lump in my throat. “This is a lot. It’s a lot for me, and I’m the one who’s living it. For her, it must’ve felt like the rug got ripped out from under her. A daughter, Nova, back in town, all of it.” I paused, the words catching. “I thought she was running away from me, but now I think... I think she’s just trying to breathe.”
Mom reached out, placing her hand gently over mine. “It’s a lot for both of you,” she said softly. “And for Scarlette too. You’re all figuring this out.”
Ledger leaned forward, his elbows resting on the table. “And you? How are you handling it?”
I let out a shaky breath, meeting his eyes. “I don’t know,” I admitted. “I’m scared. Terrified, actually. I don’t know how to be a dad. I don’t even know where to start.” My voice cracked, and I looked back down at the table. “But I have to try. I can’t not try.”
“We’ll be here with whatever you need,” Ledger said, and I nodded and looked over at Mom.
“I need to tell you something, Mom. It’s not something I think either of us likes talking about.”
Mom nodded a few times, and Ledger wrapped his arm around the small of her waist as she leaned forward in her chair.
“Okay,” she whispered. “What is it?”
I took a deep breath, feeling the tears fall. It was something I’d realized when I was talking to Dirks. It was holding me back—my fear.
“I think I’m going to fail,” I said, my voice breaking. “Not just because of my disease, but because... I think I’m destined to be like my biological father. What if I can’t raise Scarlette right? What if I don’t know how to teach her the things she needs because I have no idea how to be a father? What if my genes incline me to fail her, just likehefailed me?”
Mom’s eyes filled with tears, her hand gripping the edge of the table. “Honey,” she murmured, her voice thick with emotion. “You are nothing like that man.”
I put my mug down with a thud and pointed to myself. “I am, Mom. Look at me. I’m a fucking alcoholic. I’m a loser who had to get married again just to have health insurance. And then I went and fell in love with Charlie, but I can’t even properly love her because I’m so goddamn terrified of failing in every possible way.”
The tears came harder now, my chest heaving as I tried to get the words out. “I don’t know how to parent a child when I can barely manage my own inner child. I barely make it through the day sometimes. What if it’s easier if I just stay away from Scarlette? What if I tell Nova it’s better if I don’t get involved at all?”
Mom was crying too, matching my tears with her own, her face crumpling. “You are nothing like him, Austin Hart.” Her voice trembled but was firm. “This fear you have? This conversation we’re having right now? It tells me you care. You’ve worked so hard to get here. You’ve forgiven me for every mistakeI made while raising you. You’ve shown us, and yourself, that you can be better. That you want to be better.”
Ledger’s voice broke through the tension, low but steady. “I didn’t know how to be a dad either,” he said. “Not until... you.”
I blinked, taken aback. I was convinced he was going to say something about not knowing how to be a dad until Evie was born.
“I didn’t know how to be a dad before I met you, Austin. Hell, I didn’t even know how to be a dad for a while after that. You know that,” he said, pausing to let it sink in. “We talked about this at the start of the summer, but I’ll say it again—you’ve taught me so much, Austin.”
His words hit me harder than I expected, but he kept going. “You’ve taught me that I need to be better at asking the people I care about if they’re okay. Really asking, not just assuming they’ll tell me. You’ve taught me that I need to be more open, more honest, even when it’s uncomfortable.” He shook his head slightly, a small, knowing smile on his face. “You’ve taught me so much, man. And you didn’t even realize it.”
Ledger leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table as he continued. “All those lessons? You’re going to teach them to your daughter.” He paused, his expression growing serious. “But comparing yourself to a man who was a rapist? A man who abandoned his child and a pregnant teenage girl? That’s not a fair assessment of who you are. Not even close.”
I swallowed hard.
“You’re not that man,” he said firmly. “You’re better. The fact that you’re here, terrified and trying? That proves it.”
Tears continued to stream down Mom’s face as she reached across the table and gripped my hands. “I’m not perfect, Austin. I’ve made more mistakes than I can count, and I’ll probably carry them for the rest of my life. But when I look at you, I knowI didn’t get everything wrong. Somewhere along the way, I did something right. You’re a good man. You have a good heart.”
