He watches me like a man staring at a fuse burning too close to dynamite. Finally, he exhales and pushes off the frame. “Just keep your triggers in check. All of them. I know you’ll do what needs doing, but we already dragged you back from the edge once, McShane. I’ll do it again if I have to, just don’t make me worry about you on top of worrying about her.”
I nod, sharp and obedient.
We both know better.
That isn’t a promise I can make.
Something inside me is already stretching awake, sniffing the air like it smells blood.
I spent years burying it under discipline, routine, and code, but it has teeth. And when I let it off the leash, it doesn’t stop until everything in its path is destroyed.
That’s the part command relied on. The part they sent in when they wanted something done.
I tried to build a new life when I got out. I learned cybersecurity. I built the business with Dillon and Boone. I told myself protecting people from behind a screen is enough.
But every few months, a private security outfit reaches out.
Rescue ops. Extraction. Black-bag work.
And every time, something in me twitches.
Like the beast inside lifts its head and says,There. That. Let me have that.
I hate how much it wants that. I never want Roxie to see that man, the one who doesn’t flinch at violence or hesitate to be the one perpetrating it. The man who can justify anything in the name of protection. But with Caruso circling and danger creeping into our quiet little world, I feel it rising.
The darkness. The old instincts. The part of me she wouldn’t recognize.
It feels inevitable now that she’ll meet that man. I’m already halfway gone to him, but I fight him back, knowing it isn’t time yet.
After I load all the weapons Boone and Dillon think I’m insane for buying, I find Roxie in the nursery.
Soft late-afternoon light slants through the window, catching tiny snowflakes clinging to the branches outside. My angel is curled in the rocking chair, her hands trembling slightly, her eyes wide.
I feel the fear radiating off her like heat from a fire.
I kneel in front of her, sliding my hands onto her knees.
“Hey,” I say softly. “I know you’re scared. I know this is a lot, but we’re going to survive it, okay? We’ll be fine.”
“I just don’t want them to hurt any of you.” Her voice breaks. “Or the babies.”
“No one is touching them.” I shake my head, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “Or any of you. Not while I’m here. I promise you that, Roxie.”
She leans into me, burying her face against my chest, and I hold her like she’s the most fragile thing in the world even though I know she’s the strongest of us. I take the moment to memorize her warmth, the scent of her hair.
Moments like this are what I’ll fight to protect later, even if it means becoming someone darker than she’s ever imagined. Hopefully, these memories will be enough to pull me back.
“I promise,” I murmur into her hair. “One day, you’re going to have the boring, normal, perfect life you deserve. I’ll make sure of it.”
I just hope I’m there to live it with you.
29
DILLON
Ishould be sleeping. Normal people do that at two a.m., especially after the week we’ve had. But I’m not normal, and I sure as hell don’t feel human right now, hunched over my monitors with three energy drinks in me, my eyes burning and my fingers flying across the keyboard like they’re trying to outrun the dread tightening in my gut.
For hours, I’ve been combing through every dark-web channel, burner forum, encrypted dump, and the criminal group chats Caruso’s goons crawl into when they need something dirty done fast.
