My phone lies on the nightstand and my fingers hover over it for a second, my pulse loud in my ears. Before I can talk myself out of it, I pick it up and dial Madison. She answers on the second ring.
“Rox?” Her voice is groggy. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?”
“I’m fine. Well, I’m not fine, but I’m not in trouble either.” I suck in a shaky breath. “I just need to tell you something and I have to say it now or I’ll lose the nerve, but you have to promise not to scream.”
There’s a quiet beat. “You’re pregnant.”
“I—wait. How did you?”
“Because I’m psychic. Or maybe it’s because you only say don’t scream when it’s something absolutely insane and this would definitely qualify. So are you? Like, really?”
My throat tightens. “Yeah. I, uh, I took a test.”
Madison lets out a sound that is absolutely a scream. I wince and pull the phone away from my ear until it subsides. “Hey, you promised.”
“I lied. Holy shit, Roxie. You’re pregnant? A bun in the oven? An actual, like, baby?”
“Stop saying actual,” I mutter, pressing my free hand to my forehead. “You’re making it worse.”
She sucks in a breath, and I hear sheets rustling, like she’s climbing out of bed. “Okay. Okay. You’re pregnant. I mean, oh my God, but are you happy?”
The question punches me right in the heart. My eyes slide shut and I breathe through the uncertainty for a moment. “I don’t know. I don’t know what to feel.”
“That’s okay,” she says gently. “Just tell me what’s going on in your head.”
“I am happy, but I’m also not. Because how can I be? I’m terrified. I’m in love with them, Mads. I know it’s fast. I know it’s insane to love three different guys at the same time, and I know I sound like someone who needs a seventy-two-hour psych evaluation, but I love them.”
Madison is quiet for a moment, then her voice softens. “Do they know?”
“God, no. Not yet. They’re already stressed about Caruso, and I’ve barely wrapped my own head around this.” I exhale shakily. “I don’t even know how to tell one of them, let alone all three.”
“Do you think they’ll be mad?”
“No,” I say instantly. “That’s the thing. Boone would probably start researching cribs. Chance would start installing panic rooms. Dillon would run, I don’t know, simulations or something. They’d take care of me. They always take care of me. I’m just?—”
I swallow past the lump in my throat. “I’m scared of what this means. Of the danger. Of what Caruso might do if he finds us. Of being responsible for a tiny human when my life is already a dumpster fire.”
“Becoming a mom isn’t necessarily a dumpster fire.”
“Madison.”
“Okay, okay. Sorry. I love you and I’m happy for you. Mostly because you sound like you’re already halfway there and you just don’t want to admit it.”
“I’m terrified,” I whisper. “What the fuck do I know about being a mother? I don’t even have one.”
My chest constricts like one of the snakes outside has shot through the window and wrapped itself around me. Whatever air is in my lungs gets stuck.
“Hey,” she says softly. “Breathe, Rox. Just breathe. You’re brave as hell and you’re not doing this alone. I’m right here, and I can be there in a couple days if you need me. Plus, even if one of your mountain giants freaks out, you’ve got two more.”
My eyes sting when I open them again. “I miss you.”
“I miss you too. I love you. And you’re gonna be okay. Even if the father is, uh, plural.”
I groan. “Do not joke about that.”
“I am absolutely joking about that. Saving the rest for the baby shower.”
I flop back onto the pillows, covering my face. “Madison?”
