“I wish I’d never met Steel,” I murmur.
Mom exhales, patting my leg. “Honey, don’t say that. The club was a big part of your life. And while it may feel like they ruined things for you right now, if you weren’t in the club, you wouldn’t have met Danger.”
Tilting my head, I know she is right. If I hadn’t been working at Strapless as a stripper, our paths would never have crossed, and I would have just been another girl listening to him on the radio, wishing I knew him.
“I was having so much fun on tour with the band, Mom. I guess I’ll need to focus all my energy on the gala now…” I pause, “… that’s if the foundation is still alive after everything that has happened.”
I close my eyes and sigh. “I’ve already had countless emails from businesses pulling out since the news went live about my past. So I’ll have to work doubly hard to find new investors and donors if that’s even possible at this stage. My advisors told me it would be best to appoint an interim director until the drama surrounding my association with the Savages MC has subsided. Once that settles down and we have investors back on board, I can step back into the director’s role. Technically, I am still the director, just a silent one, but this could all still fall in a heap.”
She glances at me and exhales. “It might fall in a heap, but you have to tryeverythingin your power, honey, to keep this thing going. You’ve put too much effort into this foundation to let it fall to the wayside now. You can do this, Annalise. I believe in you. You’re stronger than you know.”
Nodding, I grab her hand, and she squeezes mine and then pulls out of the parking space and heads for home. I twist, facing the window, and watch as the streets of Adelaide pass me by. The summer sky is bright blue, littered with fluffy white clouds. The sun shines so brightly that its rays sparkle down on the green trees, with their leaf tips slightly burned.
Despite everything looking so beautiful, as if the world should be a happy place, I am wrapped in a haze of ominous black clouds. They seem to hover around me, surrounding me in darkness, consuming me from outside in. It is as though they are swirling around all my organs, squeezing them so tight that everything feels like it’s struggling to function. My heart fights to beat, to pump blood and supply my life force, yet I feel like I’m fading, fading into obscurity, and I hate it.
It’s swallowing me whole.
DANGER
Early April
The last four weeks without Lunar by my side have been hell.
I’ve been drinking more.
Fighting with Nate because I can.
And my performance is lackluster at best.
We said we would talk when Lunar left, but we’ve hardly spoken. She’s been distancing herself from me for the good of the band, but she doesn’t need to do that.
Ineedher.
But I am wondering if she still needs me.
Hopefully, I’ll find out soon because I’m on my way to the foundation’s gala. Recoil is playing, so I’m bound to see her. I’m eager to be in the same room as Lunar again, finally. I know things might be awkward, but even just being near her will give me a rush. I miss her so fucking much, and the tension has been strange.
When I do manage to talk to her on the phone, she’s distant.
I fucking detest it.
I hate that she feels like she has to protect me from herself.
I wish there were something I could do.
I wish I knewwhatto do.
But no one is helping besides maybe Effa, whom I’ve been spending more and more time with during Lunar’s absence.
We’ve been collaborating on the duet, and with Lunar gone, she’s all I think about. It’s as if her absence has opened the lyrical floodgates, and the words flow more easily because I am tapping into my emotions. But it isn’t easy to write about someone, uncertain if they still feel the same way about you.
Either way, this song is bound to be a hit once we finalize it.
“You know Lunar’s going to be there, right?” Ryan asks, sitting beside me.
I take a deep breath and rub the back of my neck. “Yeah.”
“And are you going to cope with seeing her?”
