“Who says I’m on drugs? I’m high on life, Danger.”
Danger and I both laugh, shaking our heads.
“Effa, look, I know drugs when I see them. Just cut back, okay?” Danger asks with genuine concern.
“You’re no fun. C’mon, Sven.” Effa pulls her boy toy out of the booth and starts walking off.
“My name’s Toby,” he replies, making me smirk.
“I know, but Sven issooomuch sexier,” she answers before dragging him off with her.
I shake my head with a laugh, but turn to see Danger scowling.
“I don’t want drugs on this tour, Lunar,” Danger states.
“Then you’d better get Luke to talk to Luminous. By the look of it, Casey, Andrea, and Alana are all wasted too. God even knows where Kristy is at this point,” I tell him.
Danger nods. “Yeah, this is just the beginning of the tour. We gotta be on our game more than this. Ella’s dad was into cocaine, so I know firsthand where that can lead.”
Tensing at the mention of his ex-fiancée’s name, as I always do whenever Ella is brought up, I swallow hard. I hate that she played such a significant part in Danger’s life and hurt him so deeply.
If I ever meet her, people will need to hold me back because I don’t know that I’ll be able to hold myself back from telling her what I really think.
Chapter Twenty-Two
DANGER
The after-party was fun. Lunar and I mostly stayed in a booth, enjoying each other’s company while the others drank and partied the night away. That might have appealed to me in my early days as a rock star, but that’s not the man I am now.
My man-whoring ways are something I’m not proud of, and if EllafuckingSlade taught me anything, it’s that being monogamous in a relationship is important.
So, even though there was a barrage of women parading themselves around at the party, I was only interested in one. And I stayed with Lunar, showing her that sheismy focus—theonlyone I want.
We left the party early and came back to the hotel, spending the night together in our room with a slight buzz from the minimal alcohol we consumed compared to everyone else. It seems we’re the adult couple on this tour. Who’d have known this would be my life? But I know I always want to have my senses about me.
Lying here in the light of morning, I realize Lunar might just be one of the rarest and most special gifts I’ve ever been given. She really is something exceptional, even though I don’t know how this is going to end for us. However, I am sure it will end because the long-distance thing won’t happen for me again.
My strong feelings for her could be my undoing.
But the band comes first this time.
Band before bitches,as Nate says.
I can’t fail Recoil again.
Iwon’tfail Recoil again.
If it comes down to choosing between staying in Australia with Lunar or relocating the band to the States, I will prioritize the band.
While I’m here, I want to explore my connection with Lunar. It may be selfish, given that I will eventually leave, but I don’t want to fight whatever pull I have toward her.
When Lunar reacted to me confiding in Effa and my struggle to open up with her, I couldn’t tell her it was a safeguard, knowing I was leaving. Besides, I have no desire to experience the pain I went through with Ella again.
I just can’t…
… can I?
My thoughts are a chaotic mess of emotions I never want to experience again.
