Chapter One
DANGER
The soft click of the hotel door roots me in place. For a split second, my brain doesn’t register it—can’t—because I’ve spent the last twelve hours watching crash footage on repeat, telling myselfshewas gone, that my Ella was gone.
My muscles lock, my throat turns to dust, and then the handle turns.
The door opens, and my fiancée, Ella, steps through. Her hair’s tangled, face streaked with salt and grime, her skin the sickly shade of someone who’s walked through hell and made it out by chance. Her eyes are red and unfocused, but somehow, they find me, and the rest of the room disappears—the hum of the air conditioner, the muted ocean beyond the glass all fade.
My knees nearly buckle. I can’t move, I can’t breathe. My heart slams so hard it rattles my ribs as she takes another unsteady step forward. Her hands shake. There’s a cut along her collarbone, dried blood crusted near the strap of her top.
The relief hits like a punch—violent, disorienting, and cruel. Because she’s alive, standing here in one piece when she shouldn’t be, and I don’t know whether to fall to my knees or tear the world apart for putting her on that plane that crashed during landing in a place as beautiful and peaceful as Hawaii.
But she’s alive.
And I don’t know how to live with that kind of miracle.
Instant relief floods me, but she’s clearly pale and emotionally wrecked. I can’t blame her when she’s just witnessed people she loves—people she's grown up with—people who are like family die right in front of her.
I’ve been pacing the floor in our room and trying to call her for what seems like forever. When I couldn’t reach her, I tried to call her parents, but they had no idea where she was. All the worst-case scenarios have been playing out in my panic. But seeing her here, now, in the flesh, sends a wave of undeniable relief through me.
Rushing up to her, I drop my cell to the floor and pick her up, twirling her around. Her blonde hair fans out around the room like a fucking supermodel. Even when she’s a mess, she’s stunningly beautiful.
Then I realize she’s stiff in my arms even when I hold her firm. “Where have you been? I’ve been trying to call you. I heard about the plane crash, and no one knew where you were. Your cell kept ringing out. Jesus, Ella, I’ve been so fucking worried.” I hold her so tightly I am sure I’m squashing her, but I can’t bear to let her go.
“I’m sorry… I have no idea where my phone is. I was with Chad all night looking after him…” she replies, then trails off.
Those few words are all I need to let her go.
Hearing she was with her fellow bandmate, Chad, sets off insane jealousy—something I hate myself for.
I want to trust her.
I do trust her.
But Idon’ttrusthim.
Fuck, I should have been here, but work kept me behind for a day. She flew ahead with her family, her bandmates, her father’s bandmates as well, and then literally crash-landed here in Hawaii yesterday. She was released from the hospital, along with the others who weren’t badly injured, but people we know, people we love, didn’t make it.
She walks over to the bed and sits, so I follow and slide in next to her. The mattress dips just enough that we edge together, andour legs touch slightly, which sets off that electrical attraction I always feel when Ella’s around me.
“You okay? It must have been terrible witnessing Chad’s parents…” I trail off, knowing they’re the people who didn’t make it, and start again. “Chad must be really fucking hurting.” I offer my sympathies, knowing his parents were a staple in our crew. His father, the drummer, is in Ella’s father’s band. I wrap my arm around her shoulders when she bursts into tears. My heart clenches at seeing Ella this upset. I fucking hate it when she cries. “Sugar… I’m here for you.” I pull her to me, but she wriggles away, shaking her head.
“I can’t do this,” she murmurs.
My head jerks back in confusion. “I know it’s hard to lose people. Especially two that you’re so close to. But I’ll help you get through this, sugar.”
“No, I can’t do…” she waves her hand between us, “… this.”
My heart stops.
All air leaves my lungs as a cold sweat ripples up my body.
I stutter out, “W-what do you mean?”
Ella looks down, avoiding my gaze. “I’m not in this one hundred percent, Danger. I love you, but I’m notin lovewith you.”
It’s like a thousand volts run through my dark heart. Once my heart restarts, I jolt to my feet and begin pacing the floor. “You need to beveryclear right now, Ella. What are you saying?”
