And… there’s my answer.
If I’m feeling anything, it’s completely one-sided.
I need to get a grip on this and sort my head out, because Matt obviously wasn't thinking the same thing I was.
That we should go together.
That we should ramp up this friendship.
Why am I such a fucking idiot?
What the hell was I thinking?
“Alex, you’ve gone all white. Are you okay?” he asks, rubbing my arm again.
“Yeah, just need to eat. Had a huge day and didn’t get to have breakfast or lunch, so I’m starving.” I left out the part where I didn’t eat breakfast because I was on the phone with him, then skipped lunch because he was ignoring me, and I was too nervous to eat.
“So, what did you wanna ask me today? Why did you want me to come to the gallery?” he asks, then takes a bite of his taco.
I tense up with a fake laugh. “Oh, it doesn’t even matter now. It was nothing. Just wanted you to help me with putting up some stuff while Nate was out. All good, next time.”
He furrows his brows and tilts his head. “But you said you’d talk to me about it tonight?”
Raising my brow, I purse my lips. “Hmm… did I? Oh, I can’t even remember. Mustn’t have been that important if I can’t remember,” I say in a blasé tone, and take another mouthful, looking away from him.
The room shifts to an uncomfortable silence.
It’s the first time I’ve been in a room alone with Matt and felt uncomfortable.
I’ve done this.
I’ve put a wedge between us.
I need to get the hell over this and get back to being just Matt and Alex because he clearly has no affection for me whatsoever. I should have known. I break pretty much every one of his rules, except for number ten—get along with his twin. How could I ever see myself in his life assomething more?
“Should I go?”
Matt furrows his brows. “Alex, why would you go? You just got here. You’ve hardly touched your food?”
“Does Madeline know about me?” I blurt out, and he sighs.
“No, but Iwilltell her. I’ll send her a message right now if it makes you stay.”
Tears well in my eyes. I mean that little to him that he hasn’t even told her about me. Ronan knows all about Matt. Standing, I grab the bags of food and turn, heading for the door.
“Alex, what’s happening?” he asks, and I turn to face him.
“Ronan knows all about you. You mean so much to me that I told him because you’re such a big part of my life. Madeline is going to be in your life now, and if you haven’t even told her about me, then where am I going to fit into that little equation?”
He stands, rushing toward me. “You think because I didn’t tell Madeline about you that means you’re not a big part of my life?”
“I think… we see each other quite differently, Matt. I don’t think I mean as much to you as you mean to me. But that’s fine, you have Madeline now—”
“You’re jealous because she’ll spend time with me? Time taken from you, is that it?” he asks.
“No, Matt, I’m angry because you don’t care enough about me to mention my goddamn name to your potential girlfriend. We were best friends. That’s a pretty big deal in my eyes.”
“Were?” he asks, his eyes drooping like I’ve just broken his heart.
