I drum my fingers on the table. “You’ll get there, man. You just need something to pull your head outta the mess. A new hobby, maybe. Or a rebound?”
He shoots me a look that tells me to back the hell down. “Not really in the mood to repeat my mistakes, bro.”
I grin, ignoring him completely. “Which means we need to find a girl worth the wreckage. You know… someone who checks all the boxes.”
Nate groans, dragging a hand down his face. “Not the damn checklist again.”
“Hey! It’s foolproof.”
“It’s delusional. You’renevergonna find a girl who ticks every box.”
Shrugging, I smirk at him. “I can dream.”
“How many are we talking here, dreamer?” he raises his brow at me insinuatingly.
I grin. “Ten. Ten perfect traits.”
Nate lets out a snort-laugh. “Ten? You’ve got anactualnumbered list?”
“Yup. And until I find her, I’m not settling.”
“Christ, Matt,” Nate says, shaking his head. “You don’t need a girlfriend. You need a fucking miracle, or maybe a therapist.”
I pull in a deep breath. “Okay, one… she has to be a nice, respectable girl. Not trashy, classless, or edgy, but really stylish and sophisticated.”
Nate smirks and nods. “Oh, you’re just gonna list them?”
“So two… I’d like her to be a little shy, maybe even reserved, but definitely not crazy and in your face like Lunar and Tillie. Don’t get me wrong, I love them, but I find them exhausting. High energy makes me tired.”
Nate raises his eyebrow. “So, you want someone to stand there, look pretty, and shut up?”
I scoff. “What? No. God no. Nate, you make me sound terrible.”
He chuckles. “I think you’re doing a great job of that yourself. Anyway, keep going.”
“Mmm… well, three… brunette preferably or a redhead maybe. With curves. I like a girl who’s maybe a little shorter than me…” I pause to think, “… so tall, yeah, but not taller than me.”
Nate exhales and nods. “No blondes. Okay, got it.”
“Four… she has to be able to travel. I want her to be able to come on tour with us. So her job has to be flexible to work in with mine.”
Nate’s now looking at me like I’ve officially lost my mind. But, I keep going.
“Five… must want kids but not have any of her own.”
Nate nods. “That’s a fair call.”
“Six… has solid family values and has a strong family behind her. Her family comes from a stable background. I don’t want someone who comes from nothing.”
Nate lets out a bemused laugh. “Wow.”
“What?”
“Matt, you sound like a fucking douche.”
I jolt back a little. “I just know that I’m sick of groupies and fucking… I don’t know… sluts. I just want someone who’s right. A woman who can bring something to the table and not just mooch off me for who I am. I need an equal, Nate.”
He inhales. “I get that, but the whole what she looks like thing? That’s a bit much, right?”
