I figure if she doesn’t answer my calls, then maybe if I send her a message, at least then she will read it and maybe see that I want to talk to her and apologize.
Wanting, no, needing to word this right, I walk over to the sofa and take a seat. I can’t chance repeating stupid shit.
Me:Alex, I’m so, so sorry. Please pick up the phone so I can talk to you, and we can hash this out. I know I fucked up. You are worth so much to me. I can’t imagine my life without you, Alex. Please don’t let this be it for us!
I hit send and take a deep breath, watching as the signal shows sent, then soon after delivered. I sit and wait, and wait, and wait, but it doesn’t mark as seen. I’m not sure if it’s because she isn’t by her cell at the moment or if she is completely ignoring my messages now, too.
“Fuck, Alex, c’mon, just look at it,” I murmur and keep watching my sent message, but nothing is happening. I’m becoming more and more agitated as time passes, and I decide to try calling her again. It rings twice, and she hangs up on me.
My stomach plummets, and my heart races.
So she is there, just ignoring me.
Wow! Okay! So I have really fucked up.
Throwing myself back into the sofa, I sink into the cushions. “Good job, Matt,” I murmur and decide to let it go for tonight. She’s already super angry at me, and doing anything else tonight will only antagonize her further.
I have to let her cool off.
Tomorrow, I will try harder.
Tomorrow, I will get Alex back on side.
***
Last night, I was on edge. Every time my cell went off, I hoped and prayed it was Alex. But nothing came through. I had messages from Nate, Ryan, and, surprisingly, Charlotte fromLovepessimist, but nothing from the one person I really wanted to talk to.
Alex has completely shut me out, and I hate it.
Today is a new day, and I’m going to keep trying to get in contact. And if she still doesn’t answer my calls or messages, I have an idea for tonight, since it’s Tuesday and we would normally spend the evening together. I don’t want to push her, but I also want her to know I’m not going to bow out without letting her know I am willing to show her I care.
Rolling over in bed, a bed that still smells of Alex, I grab my cell from my bedside table and look to see my message from yesterday is still listed unseen. Huffing, I press her name to call her. It rings out and goes unanswered yet again. Pursing my lips in a scowl, I huff and try once more. The same happens, and I wonder if she’ll keep this up all day.
Getting up, I walk over to my ensuite and place my cell on the counter, making sure the volume is up loud so I will hear it over the shower. When I step out, I’m not all that surprised that shedidn’t call or message me. I’m even more determined to make today count.
Throughout the day, I call her in lots of twos, every few hours. And every time, the calls go unanswered. The message from yesterday is still unseen, and I’m starting to think I’m going to have to enact my plan for tonight because, obviously, persistent calling isn’t working.
I send Scott instructions—in fine detail—to ensure he gets nothing wrong. Technically, he’s security, and this is not his job, but he’s also my friend.
A short time later, he responds.
Scott:Sure. What time do you want me to deliver this?
I look up at the clock—it’s just turned six. She should be leaving soon, so I type back my reply.
Me:In about half an hour. Then, hopefully, once you deliver it, she will call me or at least message me, right?
Scott:I’ll say something like he’d love to hear from you.
Pursing my lips, I wonder if that’s a good idea or not, but then figure, why the hell not?
Me:Yeah, if you think it will work. Suss her out, see how she’s reacting to the gift. But yeah, I’d like a full report.
Scott:Obviously. Okay gotta go, got some shopping to do…
Me:Thanks, bro.
Now, all that’s left is to sit here and fucking wait.
