“Mom met Patrick Bloomfield, the mega-popular movie producer of the New Hollywood era. I’m sure you have heard of him. Anyway, they quickly fell in love, got married, and we became citizens. My now stepdad, Patrick, saw a quality in me he couldn’t ignore. Acting classes began quickly, and I was thrust into Hollywood as a child actor in commercials, which has led me to where I am today. Patrick always said that to be in this industry, you have to be a diva, live the diva life, act the diva bitch. If you’re nice, people will walk all over you and take advantage. If you’re a diva, they respect you and do everything and anything you ask. That’s why I put on the so-calleddivapersonality to everyone, but in real life, I’m anything but.” She smiles a megawatt smile.
I nod in understanding. It makes sense. It’s not how I’d do things, but I guess if you’ve been brought up that way, then you wouldn’t know any other way to get what you want.
“I could see through your act.”
She smiles. “That’s why I like you. I knew you could see me, therealme.You weren’t judging me like the others.”
“You didn’t judge me either, for my, um… disability,” I say.
She waves her hand through the air like she has flicked those words away. “It’s not a disability. It is merely a hurdle. I’ll help you. First, though, I’ll get you a drink, and then we’ll get started. What’s your poison?”
“Um… beer?”
She nods and steps away, gliding toward the back of the room. I watch her approach the expansive glass doors, sliding one open as it folds back smoothly, letting the warmth of the day spill into the room. She steps down onto the sunlit paving, and I follow her outside, feeling the shift in the air as we leave the cool interior behind.
As I look around, it’s more like a tropical resort than a backyard. There’s an infinity pool overlooking the Hollywood Hills, surrounded by palm trees and leafy green plants with a splash of colored flowers here and there. At the shallow end of the pool, it appears to go from water to sand, and near the deeper end is a large rock formation with a waterfall. Around the pool are a variety of sun lounges. By the side of the house is a fully functioning bar.
All I can do is stand in awe.
This. Is. Amazing!
She heads to the bar, where she pulls out a Bud and brings it over to me.
I smile, take it from her hand, and twist the cap off. “Thanks.” Raising it slightly in a cheers motion toward her, I dip my chin, and we head over to a set of sun lounges. We take a position next to each other, lounging back and enjoying the Los Angeles heat.
“So, I have some books and stuff here that we can use to begin the learning process if you want?”
With a sharp inhale, I ask, “Oh, right, you’re serious about teaching me, and you wanna start here… today?”
She nods, picks up one of the books from the table beside her, and shows it to me. “Of course. I will need to know what level you’re at before we can really get started.” She casts her eyes down, and I catch some sort of look, but she quickly masks it and moves on. “So what level are we talking about,” she reiterates.
I slump my shoulders. “Well, I know the letters of the alphabet, and I’m familiar with some words. I know my name and how to sign it. It’s all really basic and has gotten me through to this point.”
She nods and purses her lips. “Question… how did you get through school if you couldn’t read and write?”
“It was tough, really tough. I had to learn the basics, as you know, but I struggled a lot. Matt stepped in. He read me everything and filled in all my work. Whenever there was a test or anything, he went as me, things like that. Sometimes, it’s handy being an identical twin. I was in special classes, but I still left school as soon as I could. He stayed on longer, but it was tough. Without Matt, I would have failed for sure. As it is, I only scraped by. The only classes in which I excelled were music and art, though not music theory as much. All the others, yeah, it was a train crash most of the time.”
She frowns and nods. “Sounds like Matt’s an amazing brother?”
“He has his moments, but don’t tell him I said that… big head syndrome and all.”
She smiles brightly, so stunningly beautiful that my heart starts beating a little faster.
“Has your difficulty been diagnosed, like dyslexia or something?”
Swallowing hard, trying to stop my heart from racing, I block my mind from overthinking and answer with, “No… no diagnosis.”
Her smile falters slightly, and she nods while her eyes give me warm acknowledgment. It’s like she knows there is a deeper story, but I’m not ready to divulge it to her yet. I appreciate that she doesn’t push it, either.
She tilts her head. “Okay, great. Let’s get started then.” She pulls out a notebook and hands it to me along with some pencils. I take them willingly with a great, big grin.
It feels incredible that Zaria’s helping me with this, and for the first time, I don’t feel a hint of shame. Something is empowering in knowing that someone other than Matt is taking the time to help me—someone who sees me without the judgments or assumptions I’m used to. With her, I don’t have to throw up that asshole façade, don’t have to play the part to keep people from looking too closely.
For once, I can just be…me. No pretending, no deflecting. Just me, trying to learn, and someone genuinely willing to meet me where I am.
And that? That feels like freedom.
Chapter Four
