“Will things be weird at the video filming?”
Rubbing my face, I answer, “Yeah, I think so. I wish I’d kept it in my pants like Oliver told me to. We had a great friendship, and she was helping me. And I mean,actuallyhelping me.”
“In what way?”
I sigh, looking at Matt. “She’s been teaching me to read.”
Matt opens his eyes wide and smiles. “Really? But you don’t tell anyone. Especially not women.”
Shrugging, I sigh. “She knew somehow. Ria guessed it straight away. And instead of making fun of me, she went out of her way to help me. I even wrote my first note, Matt. She’s been the only one to get through and stop the flashbacks from happening while I’m learning.”
Matt and exhales. “Dude, you have no idea how happy this makes me. And there I was thinking Zaria was nothing but a rich, pompous bitch.”
“Don’t call her that—”
“See, still defending her even after she made you feel like crap. You’re a good guy, Nate. I wish people knew you like I do. Got to see therealyou,not the smart ass, conniving idiot you come across as most of the time.”
“What? I do not!” Matt raises his eyebrow and smirks. “Okay, maybe I do come off a little… strong. I can’t help it, I’m fucked up, man.”
“Oh, I know. I live with you. I’ve known you for twenty-six years. I know how fucked in the head you are.”
“Shut up, ass.”
“But no, in all seriousness, and I don’t want to play the older-by-two-minutes-brother card here, but I’m gonna. You’ve been through some tough shit. Seeing Mom…” He pauses and sighs. “Well, what happened to you was horrible. You were five… that scars a person. And I’m not stupid. I know, while growing up, that everyone always chose you last for everything, or second to me. I know what kind of confidence-shattering effect that has had on you. Nate, I know you better than you think I do. I know you struggle. I know how you’ve suffered. I know I didn’t help as much as I could and should have, but, bro, you’re twenty-six, and you need to think about getting your emotions out. Talking to someone about all this shit that’s happened in your life because… I’m scared, Nate.”
Furrowing my brows, I tilt my head. “Why?”
“Because it’s fragile, broken men like you…” I observe him, careful to choose his next words. “That when thrust into heavy fame like we’re getting now…” Again, I see his mind ticking over. “They findothervices to cope.”
I curl up my lip. “You think I’d take drugs?”
“I know you dabbled in your younger years, and I don’t want you to be another statistic. Adding Zaria into the mix scares me. Fame, depression, and being lovesick, it’s a toxic balance waiting for disaster.”
“Geez, Matt, this got fucking serious.”
“Because I fucking love you, and I don’t want to see you spiral out of control. Okay?”
I exhale heavily. “Okay. But I swear drugs are not on my to-do list. Never, man.”
“Good, keep it that way. I don’t wanna come home to find you overdosing in the bathroom.”
“Wow! You’ve putwaaaytoo much thought into this, Matt.”
“You clearly haven’t thought about it enough.”
“I’m hearing you, bro. But honestly, I am okay. A little dented ego, maybe, but I’m fine.”
He nods. “Well, I’m here when you wanna talk.Always. You know that, right?”
“I do. You might be older, but I’m smarter.”
“Hmm… debatable. Better looking, maybe, but smarter than me? I don’t think so.”
I chuckle. “I’ll take better looking over smart any day. Even though we’re completely identical in every way, except, of course, for our tattoos.”
Matt smiles, pulling me into a hug. “Zaria’s a fool for not bagging you.”
“Yeah, maybe. I just hope the weirdness is okay to deal with and not completely unbearable for everyone.”
