I tilt my head in confusion. “Isn’t Fung Shui Chinese?”
He opens his eyes wide and shrugs slightly. “Ah… maybe. But this sage-burning stick help with bad karma in your negative space. I rid house of badqiand bring in only positive energy. Yes, sexy boy?”
I furrow my brows further, wondering a couple of things.
One, why does he keep calling me sexy boy.
And two, if he’s some Fung Shui master, why is he using what I’ve seen on television as a Native American sage burning technique for a Chinese ritual and calling it all Korean?
Who the hell is this guy?
Matt walks in, and I open my eyes wide at him as he smiles and nods. I glare at him, looking from him to the Korean guy who’s still toofarinto my comfort zone as he looks me up and down like he’s assessing me.
“Matt! What the fuck? Who is this?”
“Whisper,” Matt says with a giant smile.
I duck slightly and hush my tone. “Why are we whispering?”
“No, that’s his name?” Matt says as the Korean bows his head.
“What is?”
“Whisper.”
I furrow my brows. “What the fuck? I was whispering!”
“Whisper is name given to me by ancestor of years past,” the little monk guy says, and I raise my brows and tilt my stature.
“Oh, you’re called Whisper? As in, that’s youractualname?”
“Yes, like a cool ocean breeze. I am but breath of air, mist on wind. I roll on ocean…cool, calm, collected.”
Flaring my nostrils at the utter weirdness of this guy, I chance a glance at Matt and shake my head. “Riiight… and what are you doing here?”
“Oh, that easy one. I here to make your house invite only goodqi. Reflect allsha qi. Bring in only happiness and joy so you be calm and joyous in everyday life.”
Matt grins wide, thinking that this is the best idea he’s ever had, while I shake my head.
“Nope… no! Matt, what were you thinking?”
“What? This is good for you, Nate. You’re so stressed, and everything’s going a little wonky for you right now. A little Fung Shui can’t hurt to help boost your energy, right?”
Whisper nods and waves his sage stick around me again, and I push his hand away.
“No, this is stupid. This shit doesn’t wor—”
Whisper puts his fingers up in a zipping motion again and opens his eyes wide. “No swearing, sexy boy. You keep only good, to reap good, you understand? Calm, cool, collected. Breathe in with me now, yes?”
I look at him as he takes in a deep breath. “No,” I reply, and he frowns, slumping his body. “Where did you come from?” I ask as Whisper continues to take deep, centering breaths.
“Craigslist,” he simply replies.
I look at Matt and roll my eyes as he smiles and nods like this is still the best idea he’s ever had in his life.
“Give him a go, Nate. I think he’ll give the house a better energy flow, which, in turn, will help you.”
“Yes! Must help energy,” Whisper says and turns, suddenly racing off into the living room again. I jolt back at his sudden movements and watch him pick up pieces of furniture and start rearranging. Small things at first. A vase here, a potted plantthere, and I stare with a frown as Matt smiles and grins the entire time, nodding as if he has a clue about what’s happening.
