Matt shrugs. “Not a lot. Danger and Lunar were talking about their wedding plans…” He rolls his eyes. “A lot.”
Tensing slightly at the thought of Lunar marrying Danger, Matt looks at me and sighs. “Nate, you gotta let that shit go.”
Sighing, I slump my body. “I know, but I don’t want Danger to hurt her.”
“He loves her too much, dude. She’s not like the others. He’ll never hurt her.”
Groaning, I run my hand through my hair. “He thought he really loved his ex, Ella, too. He’s scum when it comes to women, you know that.”
“Nate, let it the fuck go. Danger’s happy. Lunar’s not yours to chase.” His brother exhales, shaking his head. “If you’re dead set on torturing yourself, why not go after Zaria? Even though she’s way out of your league, and let’s be real, way too old for you. She is a woman, Nate, not some groupie looking for a good time.” He smirks. “I mean, a woman like that?” He blows air out of his mouth and widens his eyes. “She’s got her pick of mature men. You really think she’d waste her time on a twenty-six-year-old kid? She’s no cougar.”
Is he fucking kidding?
As if I don’t know of my shortcomings making me less than.
Tensing up, I huff. “Why do you have to do that?”
“What?” he asks.
“Always putting me down? Fuck!”
Matt pulls his head back in shock. “Dude, I’m sorry. You know I love you, bro!”
“Ihatethat I’m this way.”
He furrows his brows. “What way?”
“Stupid!”
“What? You’re not stupid—”
“I can’t read, Matt. What other twenty-six-year-old do you know that can’t. Fucking. Read?”
Matt reaches out, wrapping his arm around my shoulders firmly. “I know you struggle with this, and if you want, I can hire a tutor again to help?”
I pull back and sigh. “Nah, I’m good. Just had a moment…”
Matt looks me in the eyes. “Maybe you should see a counselor?”
“Fuck off, I’m fine!” I grab the food from the grill and bring it inside, feeling the weight of the day pressing down on me. I just want to eat quickly, crawl into bed, and sleep off this nagging sense of inadequacy—this feeling of being stupid and the sting of Ria’s rejection today. Maybe, if I’m lucky, a good night’s sleep will dull the edge of it all.
Fuck, I’m a loser!
Chapter Five
NATE
After a restless sleep, I’m grouchy heading into the office, but Matt appears to be his usual chirpy self, oblivious to my fucked up mood. Even though I had a great time with Ria yesterday, after Matt’s dig when I got home, I feel like I’m not good enough for her or, for that matter, anyone right now, and it stings. My mind can’t seem to let it go.
Once we arrive, my first stop is the kitchen for some much-needed caffeine. I’m hopeful a strong cup of coffee will help perk up my mood.
“Morning, didn’t sleep well?” Tillie asks.
Raising an eyebrow, I tilt my head. “How’d you know?”
She smirks. “The black circles under your eyes are a little bit of a giveaway. But the real giveaway is the fact that your buttons aren’t lined up correctly.”
I look down at my shirt. “Fuck.”
