Alex moves inside, and I close the door behind her. She looks me up and down with a frown. “Not really. He’s trying to be brave, but he’s mopey and misses you like crazy. I tried to get him out of the gallery for a bit tonight by taking him to Inflatable Land, and he broke a tequila bottle on the arena and cut the inflatable, effectively destroying it. The cops showed up at the gallery about an hour after we left—”
“What? Oh my God…” My hand flies to my mouth, and my eyes bulge practically out of their sockets. “Is he in serious trouble?”
Alex grabs my arms as I sway slightly before she leads me back down to the couch. “No, Tillie came down. He had to pay for the damages and a fine, but it’s all good, and he’s not allowedto go back for six months,” she says as she sits me down on the white plush sofa.
Taking a deep breath, I swallow hard. “Why did he break the bottle?”
Alex slumps her body. “Because I told him about you—”
“Why I’m sick?” I rush out, tensing up.
“God, no, I wouldn’t do that to you. Just what you told me to say. That you’re moving on, and he needs to let you go.”
Sinking further into the plushness of my sofa, I clench my eyes shut, trying to fight back the tears threatening to fall. “So he didn’t take it well then.”
She rubs my knee. “No… you’re all he paints about, Ria. All he thinks about. Pretty much all he talks about.” Clenching my eyes tighter, a fat tear falls from my eye. “Look, I don’t want to tread on any toes here, but… are you sure shutting him out is the right move?”
“Yes.” I glare at her. “He’s still young, I don’t want to weigh him down with this. He deserves to live his life, to be free, to be the rock star he’s meant to be…” I sigh. “Not stuck in something he never signed up for. I won’t be the reason he puts his life on hold.”
I exhale, my chest tightening. “I’m ready to settle down, to start a family I never thought I was going to get… not at my age anyway. I’d almost given up on that dream. But Nate? He’s still riding the high, still living the rockstar fantasy. Recoil is making it big right now, and I won’t be the one to take that from him.”
I swallow hard, my mind flashing back to Kade. I’d already accepted that family life might never happen for me—especially after what he put me through. And after that, I threw myself into my career, my brand, my fame, never focusing on relationships. So the older I got, the further and further the prospect of having children got from my mind.
Because it seemed like an impossibility.
My hand instinctively moves to my stomach as I exhale. Being pregnant with a rock star’s baby has unearthed every insecurity I’ve tried to bury.
I know I’m doing the right thing by keeping it from Nate.
At least, that’s what I keep telling myself.
“He wouldn’t be putting it on hold. He’d be looking after you. Puttingyoufirst, Ria. I know him well enough to know he would want to look after you, help you through these next few months while you’re—”
“Alex, he wouldn’t want this. We haven’t even said ‘I love you.’ Why would he take on something this big? This isn’t just some minor detour… it’s life-changing. Even the doctors have said that this pregnancy is high-risk. He talked about complications, abnormalities, gestational diabetes…” I shake my head, “…. doctor’s appointments, responsibilities, an entire future that neither of us planned for. It’s not just about money, we both have plenty of that. But Nate, he’s young. His future is wide open, his path already mapped out. He didn’t sign up for this kind of drama with an old woman who is defective when we got together, and I won’t be the one to derail his life before it’s even really started.”
Alex sags her shoulders. “First of all, you’re not old or defective. And the doctor is only telling you things thatcouldhappen. Your baby might be perfectly healthy, just like its parents. But as for Nate, whatin the worldmakes you think he wouldn’t stand by your side in this? You don’t know unless you tell him, Ria. Please, tell him. Hedeservesto know. It’s his baby too.”
“Alex, no. Telling him won’t change anything, it’ll only scare him. Hell, it’ll terrify him. I’m fucking terrified. And for what? What good would that do both of us being scared shitless?”
She shakes her head and swallows hard. “I hate seeing him so cut up about you. I hate watching you miserable without him.”
“I hate being without him, Alex. I hate knowing what we could have had. I miss him so much it’s killing me, but right now… this is theonlyway I know how to move forward.”
“I’m gonna be honest… I think your way is wrong.Terribly wrong.You’re not giving him enough credit. He’s older than his twenty-six years, and you know it. He’s been through more than most men twice his age. And I think, if you told him, he wouldn’t just step up, he’d prove you wrong in ways you never expected.” Alex exhales sharply, shaking her head. “I know he’d want to know. I know he’d be the best damn support you could ever have. And more than that? He’d be thebestdad. You think you’re protecting him, but all you’re doing is shutting him out of something he haseveryright to be a part of.” She pauses, her voice dropping lower. “Watching you try to handle this alone? It’s not strength, Zaria. It’s stubborn as fuck. And honestly? It’s stupid. Sorry, but someone has to say it.”
Looking down at my hands in my lap, I nod and sigh.
She’s probably right.
Everyone misjudges Nate, and I detest that they do it.
Oh God… now I’m doing it.
He could handle this.
I know deep down inside me that he could.
He’d support me, help me through the worst of the sickness, and take me to every appointment I need. Hell, he’d hold my hair while I puked. He’d rub my back and my feet. Be there for every scan and test. He’d be here every second of every day if I let him. But that’s the thing. I want him to be his own man. I want him not to give up his entire life for mine. I want him to continue with Recoil and his new gallery, and I worry if I tell him what’s going on, he will throw in the towel to be with me full-time.
