Danger swallows, as do I. For the first time, I feel awful about my position here and wonder how tenable it is now. But I want this band to succeed, and with the PR being handled the way it was, it definitely won’t.
Recoil needs me, even though Ryan might disagree.
“Okay, I think we’re done here. Let’s go home and come back refreshed tomorrow, yeah?” Oliver asks.
Without another word, unwilling to let him see he’s gotten under my skin, I stand and walk out as quickly as I can, refusing to look back. I took the bait—hook, line, and sinker. I’ll be ready for him next time. And yes, something tells me this is far from over.
The drive home, fortunately, is without incident as I still haven’t fully gotten my rage under control. I practice my deep-breathing exercises, and gradually the tension in my shoulders eases.
After pulling into my parking garage, I head inside my quaint little one-story modern villa. My chocolate-colored Cavoodle, Piper, barks and jumps at my feet. Seeing her always melts away any stress I have. I lean down, petting her wavy fur, and smile.
“Hey, girl, Mama missed you today.” I close the door, head into the living room, and plop myself on the couch. Piper jumps onto my lap, curling into a ball. Glancing at the table, I see the photograph of me with my grandma. I can’t help but remember how I had to take care of her during her final years. It was so hard to watch her fade away, but it gave me empathy to care for people who can’t care for themselves, and I see that now in Ryan.
My need to help him—even though he’s seriously testing me—is outweighing my anger toward him.
As I sit here, with Piper snuggled in my lap, I realize that maybe, just maybe, helping Ryan might heal us both in ways we never expected.
Chapter Three
RYAN
When I pull up in my car at the office, I take a deep breath. Knowing Tillie is going to be here today is making life difficult, but I need to toughen up if I’m going to get through the day.
Having the PR taken from me has been harder to manage than I thought. I didn’t realize how much I did for the band before those tasks disappeared. They kept me busy, engaged, and organized, all the things that kept the dark thoughts away. Sure, it’s only been three days, but in that time, Tillie has taken over absolutely everything.
Today, I plan on checking out exactly what she’s doing with the band’s money. I want to ensure she’s doing everything I would be and doing it correctly. It’s a peace of mind I need because it goes against the grain to be paying someone for something I could, quite simply, be doing myself. It could be a total fucking waste of finances, and really, I don’t see why Oliver thinks we need a professional. The band’s success has been increasing steadily since we arrived back in the States, so I must have been doing something right.
Sure, she has training and a family background in PR and marketing, but I’ve been doing this for years, and I know this industry as well as the back of my hand. I know the people. I know the music.That’s got to count for something, right?
After sliding out of my car, I walk to the building. The halls look the same as always, bleak monotone gray lined with pictures of the band and our records. The carpet is stain-free and perfectly plush, but the apricot color assaults my eyes every single time. It’s an older-style office building turned rocker hangout, with a few pieces of music paraphernalia sprinkledhere and there to show this place belongs to a band and its crew. Pictures of Oliver’s previous bands line the walls. I half smile, knowing they’ve made it big, and hopefully, that’s where we’re headed too.
I glance at the picture of the four of us—Danger, Matt, Nate, and me from when the band first started. We were a lot younger, but it’s one of my favorite pictures of us.
Times were simpler then. We had a dream and aspirations of making it huge, of being the world’s greatest…
But who knows if we’ll ever reach that status?
As I make my way to the boardroom, I wonder if Tillie thinks we can.
Oliver is busy in his office when I pass by, focused intently on his computer screen, so I don’t bother him. I know the others will be here before me, as I took a little longer to get in today. For some reason, it seems to be harder to get out of bed and to feel semi-human the past three mornings since the doctor’s health scare.
You’d have thought that scare would have made me more alert and more energized to keep pushing through, but things are getting on top of me, and I can’t seem to shake this funk I’m finding myself floundering in.
Walking past the open-plan windows, everyone is in the boardroom sans Oliver. When my eyes find Tillie at the table, I take a deep breath. Her hair is in a messy top bun with a few wisps falling around her oval face, a pen dangling from her plump, shiny red lips, and she’s typing furiously on her MacBook, lost completely in what she’s doing. She looks one hundred percent nerd girl with her glasses rimming her face perfectly as she squints at the screen, deep in focus. My cock twitches at the sight of the fucking geeky goddess, and I screw up my face that he even reacts at all because, quite frankly, I detest her.
Entering the boardroom, everyone looks up at me at once. I give a slight smile, and Danger nods to me as Matt and Nate go back to their cells while Lunar winks at me casually. Tillie casts a glance at me, then goes back to her MacBook.
“So glad you could make an appearance, fuck face,” Lunar chimes.
“Jesus Christ, Lunar. I slept in. It’s not like I’ve missed anything. So what if I’m a little slower than normal? Fucking sue me!” I roll my eyes and take a seat next to Tillie.
It seems to be the only one left available.
Unfortunately.
Lunar giggles, taking absolutely no notice of me, while Danger fiddles with her pink hair.
“So, Ryan, Tillie’s going over our marketing strategies and how we can improve them. She’s talking some big stuff,” Danger says.
