Some time to think.
“I’ll see you there?” I ask.
She exhales with a simple nod. “Yeah.”
“Right.” Grabbing my keys off the nightstand, I turn, stepping out to her front door without looking back. I pause at the door, torn between going back and laying it all out—telling her about Katie, about Maddie, and the twisted mess they left in my head. Part of me wants to let Tillie see it all, to show her why I am so screwed up. But instead, I take the coward’s way out, gripping the handle and stepping through the doorway like the spineless pussy I am.
Even I can feel the whiplash of my own indecision, torn between staying and running, between wanting her and fearing what that means.
***
Oliver has called a meeting this morning, so I’m here in the boardroom with Danger and Lunar, waiting on the others. I haven’t seen Tillie come in yet, but she’s probably avoiding me. I know I would be if I were her.
“So you didn’t come in last night,” Lunar says, wiggling her eyebrows.
I roll my eyes. “Your stalker tendencies astound me, Lunar.”
She giggles. “Hey, the house is so much quieter without you in it, so we know when you’re not there, Mr. Grumpy.”
“I’m not grumpy.”
“You’re alittlegrumpy, bro,” Danger says.
“I’mnotfucking grumpy!”
“She didn’t put out even though you stayed over?” Danger asks.
My stomach flips, and for the first time in a long time, I want to sucker punch him. “Shut your face, prick.”
He puts his hands up in surrender and frowns. “Hey… was just kidding, Ry. What’s going on?”
Running my hand through my hair, I slam my forehead down on the table and groan.
“Ryan, dude… talk to us,” Danger coaxes.
“I slept with Tillie, all right?” I moan, and then a clearing throat echoes from the doorway. As I raise my head, Tillie’s standing there red-faced next to Oliver, Matt, and Nate. The room falls silent as I look at Tillie, who’s purposely avoiding eye contact. My heart races so fast I’m worried it might burst right out of my chest when she straightens her posture, clears her throat, and walks into the room.
“I have some good news,” she says, completely ignoring my outburst as she makes her way to the table, sitting down next to Lunar, who smiles, and Tillie weakly returns the gesture, taking her seat and opening a folder. Oliver, Matt, and Nate all file in behind her, taking their seats. She pulls out a headshot image of Zaria and places it in the middle of the table, and everyone sits up a little taller at seeing the Hollywood A-lister.
I smile genuinely, knowing what’s coming.
“So for the release of “Take my Breath,” Zaria has agreed to come on board and be the starring lead in the music video. She needs to get back to us about when she can fit us into her tight schedule, so the release of the song might have to wait a bit, but I believe it will be beneficial to have her on board with us.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Nate calls out.
I screw my face up at him.
This was his idea.
Now he’s annoyed because what? We have to delay our release?
“Nate, seriously? She’s worth waiting for,” I say.
He shakes his head. “No, that’s not what I meant. I mean…are you kidding me?This is amazing!”
Matt laughs. “Fuck, yeah! Zaria Shafir, she’s so goddamn hot, guys. Tillie, you’re incredible!”
She smiles, and it’s the most beautiful smile in the world.
