I’m a fucking fucker.
Why do I have to get so defensive?
So irritated?
I should have told Tillie that I miss her and I’m looking forward to her coming back. But no, I had to act like an overprotective dick.What the fuck is wrong with me?
Standing, I walk out of her office and down to the studio where I know Danger will be. Scrubbing my face as I walk in, Danger smirks.
“You look like shit.”
“I feel like shit. I need a pick-me-up.”
“Why don’t we go to a club tonight? No booze for you, obviously. But we can hang out. Guys only. Play pool. Listen to some music. Be in the VIP area for a bit?”
“Yeah, okay, let’s do it.”
Chapter Eleven
RYAN
We’re heading up the stairs of a swanky LA nightclub. Danger and I have been here before, and now that we’re better known, they let us into VIP a hell of a lot easier, especially with Oliver’s influence on the door.
We were going to ask Nate and Matt to make a real guys’ night of it, but Danger said he just wanted to spend some downtime with me, and I was cool with that. Plus, Nate can be an asshole, and even though I live with and am in a band with Danger, it’s still good to hang out with him on our own occasionally—no girlfriends, no bandmates, just us, best friends against the world and all that.
“Wanna shoot some eight ball?” Danger asks as we hit the top of the stairs of the VIP area, which thankfully isn’t overly crowded.
I nod, and we head over to the offset, which is set out just for the pool tables, where I grab a cue and rub the tip with the blue chalk. “So, how’s life with Lunar?” I ask.
Danger smirks and sets up the balls in the triangle. “Awesome. I’m so glad she came to the States with us. Thinking back to when I thought I’d leave her back in Australia when we came home…” he shakes his head, “… I can’t even comprehend how my life would be right now without her.”
I nod. “I know. Even I love the shit out of her, and I don’t get the benefits of banging her.” Danger throws the chalk at me, and I laugh. “But seriously, you screw her over, and I’ll be more than a little pissed at you.”
Danger nods, heading for the top of the table, and bends down, lining his cue up with the white ball. “Dude, if I fuck thisup, I give you permission to royally beat the shit out of me.” He thrusts the cue into the white ball, and it slams forward, scattering the balls across the table and sinking two smalls.
“I’m gonna hold you to that,” I say as he takes another turn but misses, and I walk around the table to take my shot.
“So, we all know that Lunar and Tillie are besties, and Lunar told me she saw a date scene set up on the fire escape. She said she tried talking to Tillie about it, but she shut her down. You know what I think?” I groan, knowing he’s going to tell me anyway. “I think you made a move on Tillie, but something’s gone weird. Did she reject you?”
I smack the ball too hard, and it hits the green ball, smashes into the edge of the table, and flies over the edge, hitting the floor. I clench my eyes shut as Danger watches closely.
“Okay, there’s a story here. Talk to me, Ry, man to man.”
I stand up, open my eyes, and sigh. “It’s hard to explain.”
“Do you like her?” he asks with a raised brow.
“Yeah.”
“Does she like you?”
“Yeah.”
“Then that’s all there is, Ry. Don’t overthink it. Don’t overcomplicate it. Don’t think about your past. I know you haven’t had a relationship since…” He trails off for a second, then starts talking again. “You’ve technically only ever been in one. I get it. But, dude, it’s time. Tillie’s great, and she is great for you. You just gotta get out of your own damn head.”
It’s like a lightbulb flickers to life inside me, illuminating everything I’ve been blind to until now. I realize, with a clarity that leaves no room for doubt—I want Tillie in my life, not just in passing moments but in every sense. The thought of her slipping away stirs something fierce in me, and I know I have to fix this. I need her to know how much she means to me, to be a part ofmy world—if she’ll have me.“I know she means a lot to me, but I think I’ve fucked it up already.”
“What? How?”
