“It’s not just that,” he says, still turned away from me.
“It’s not?” I ask, raising an eyebrow.
He slumps even more. “I want to tell you… all of it. I just can’t yet. I’m not ready.”
My hand drops from his arm, and I nod even though he can’t see me.I knew there was something more, and I hope he can open up enough for me to understand one day.
“Can you wait?” he murmurs.
Squishing my brows in confusion, he turns to look at me, but his face is strained and full of worry.
“Wait?” I ask.
“Can you wait for me to be ready? It’s asking a lot, and I don’t know how long it will take for me to open up to you. But if you’re willing to stand by me, I promise I will tell you everything as soon as I’m able.”
Licking my lips as my mouth suddenly goes dry, I take in a deep breath. “Does this mean everything is on hold until you find your strength?”
He shakes his head. “No. I still want to keep seeing you. It’s just the delving into my past I’m not ready for yet.”
Nodding slowly, I think I understand. The last girl he was with obviously hurt him. Severely. He has trust issues, and it’s starting to make a bit more sense. “I am pretty sure I can manage that.”
He sighs in relief and leans his forehead against mine. “Thank you.”
I smile, bringing my hand up to caress his smooth cheek. “It’s fine.”
He smiles and leans in, quickly kissing my lips, then pulls back. “Better get back in there before Nate demands a pony.”
I laugh before he squeezes my hand, pulls away from me, and walks down toward the studio. That’s when I turn and head back inside the sound booth just in time to see Nate smirk at Ryan.
Danger looks at Ryan and frowns. “You okay, man? You were gone for so long, I thought you fell in the toilet.”
“It’s all those kale smoothies you’re making me drink,” he replies.
Danger laughs as Ryan looks over at me and winks.
RYAN
A quick wink to Tillie confirms she can hear us. Her smile in response is far from convincing—its falseness glaringly obvious.
Swallowing hard, I take a deep, centering breath and look away from her. I hate that I’ve asked Tillie to keep us a secret. I knew it would, and obviouslyis,making her feel inadequate. But if I acknowledge publicly that something is going on between us, that means I’m over Katie, and I don’t know if that’s true. I’m not sure if I will ever truly beovermy wife.
“Okay, guys, let’s get this going again,” Oliver calls out, clapping his hands together.
Nodding, I pick up my Fender, placing the strap over my head. Looking at Oliver to let me know when to start the intro to the song, he points at me, so I start strumming. Nate kicks in with the drum beat and Matt with his Bass. Danger’s voice chimes in soon after, and I head into autopilot. My eyes shifttoward Tillie, and she smiles at me as I watch her, but soon after, she nods at me and turns, leaving the sound room.
I feel like an asshole for treating her like this.
Day one of ourwhatever the hell this is, and already I’m fucking it up.
We finish recording and head back into the main office, where I leave the guys to go in search of Tillie, but I can’t seem to find her anywhere. Her office door is closed, and it’s clear she’s left for the evening. I’m bummed, but figure I may as well head home too. I want to call her, but I don’t want to seem needy or desperate either. So I walk to my car and drive home, wondering the whole time if this thing we have is over before it’s even begun.
Danger and Lunar beat me home, and as I step inside, Danger is pulling his shirt off. “Work out?”
“Yeah, definitely.” Pumping some iron and letting off some steam is just what I need.
We head out the back to the porch, and Danger flicks on the sound system. “We did great today. I fucking love it when we get new tracks down,” he says, and I dip my chin in agreement.
He raises an eyebrow. “Okay, spill. You’ve been weird all afternoon. What’s on your mind?” he asks, handing me a dumbbell. I start hammer curling and purse my lips.
