And that scares the ever-loving shit out of me.
I’ve not liked or loved anyone other than Katie. She was my first girlfriend, then my wife, and the only woman I swore I would ever love. Yet here I am, developing feelings for another.
It’s wild.
It’s ridiculous.
I almost feel like I’m cheating on my wife.
Sure, I’ve fucked an array of beautiful women over the last nine years, but I’ve never had any kind of connection with them.
And that’s what scares me.
Actual feelings.
Tillie is smoking hot, challenges me, and is immune to the power of the rock star persona. Plus, the way she looks at my body, both dressed and naked, makes me think she likes me just as I am, which is nice. I know I’m not Jabba the Hut, but I am nowhere near the same level of fit as Danger, so the mere fact she finds me attractive without all the abs says more about her than most girls.
Fuck.
I’m in way over my head.
Pursuing her isn’t an option.
But should I keep the friendship, or put some space between us?
That’s something I need to figure out quickly before this goes too far, and I can no longer control my feelings.
Chapter Nine
TILLIE
A sharp, relentless chime slices through the quiet, forcefully waking me from my peaceful sleep. My heart races as I bolt upright in my dark room while trying to gather my bearings as to what’s happening. After a moment of looking around the darkened room, I remember I am meeting Ryan before dawn for a sunrise breakfast.
I turn to my bedside table, where my cell is vibrating and flashing brightly with the alarm sounding. Yawning, I move over and turn it off, pushing back the covers. My body is heavy with sleep as I throw my legs over the edge, but I know I need to get going. After flicking on the side light, I hurry about getting dressed for the day, not only to impress Ryan but also for a day of work.
I say my goodbyes to Piper and Hunter, then head out the door with an empty stomach and a lack of much-needed caffeine. It’s hard to keep functioning without my morning cup of Joe, but I manage to make it all the way to the office without running a red light or being honked at.
I can’t help but wonder what I’m going to find when I step out of my car and head for the office block. My stomach is flipping on itself, and I honestly haven’t felt this nervous about anything in years. I unlock the main door and head inside, making my way straight toward the fire escape where Ryan told me to meet him. The lights are mostly out, so it’s dark everywhere I go. It gives the building I know so well an eerie feeling, making me even more nervous.
Reaching the door, I head up the steps and onto the roof. My smile lights my face when I see little lanterns lighting a path tothe edge of the roof, where blankets are set out. Little pots of various blooming flowers are sporadically placed, helping to give the rooftop garden more impact.
My grin is broad as I walk the path to the edge, where a banquet of pastries, fruit, and juice is sitting there, waiting to be devoured. The whole vibe is chic picnic and incredibly romantic. I check around to see if Ryan is here, but I can’t find him. So I sit on the blanket, gazing out into the darkness of the crisp morning, lit only by the dull hue of the lanterns.
The fire escape door opens, and the strumming of a guitar causes me to turn to Ryan, who’s walking toward me. A smile pulls on my lips as he plays—he’s so gifted on that thing. Then he opens his mouth, and his deep tenor fills the air.
“The day you came into my life,
I knew it would never be the same,
It turned upside down,
But I’m so glad you came.”
“I never thought this could work,
And I still don’t know,
But I guess we could try,
