I scoop out some chili and proceed to eat with Danger and Lunar, and it’s noticeably quieter without Ryan.
Chapter Eight
TILLIE
As we finish dinner, Ryan is still absent. His shower shouldn’t have taken this long, and I’m a little worried about why he hasn’t come back downstairs.
“Should someone check on Ryan? He’s been gone a long time?”
“Danger and I are going to clean up, so why don’t you go see if you can find him?” Lunar asks as Danger eyes her sternly, but she smiles and nods toward the stairs.
“Um… okay, sure,” I say and stand, taking a deep breath before I head for the stairs.
Each step brings me an inch closer to Ryan, but as I take them, the butterflies in my stomach flutter, making me nervous and, ultimately, slightly sick. The higher up the stairs I ascend, the more I can hear the gentle strumming of a guitar, and as I reach the top, I turn to hear it coming from what I’m assuming is a bedroom. My feet feel heavy as the somber tones from the acoustic guitar echo from behind the closed door.
I gently knock, and the music stops before Ryan’s voice sounds, “Come in.”
The door handle clicks as I turn it, and I pop my head around the open door to see him sitting on his king-sized bed, wearing only a pair of loose-fitting joggers and no shirt.
“Are you okay?”
Ryan smiles warmly while he places his guitar on the bed near his pillows, then nods. “Yeah, just didn’t want to embarrass you by being around at dinner.”
“I would have been fine. You should have come and eaten with us.”
He dips his chin,picks up his guitar again, and strums it softly. The melodic tune is delightful and yet somber to my ears. I walk over to the bed and sit down on the mattress next to him.
“That’s beautiful, what is it?”
“It’s “While My Guitar Gently Weeps” by George Harrison.”
“It sounds so sad.”
He nods. “It is.”
A soft, quiet falls over us for a moment. I wonder what to say to Ryan when I turn slightly to face him and take a deep breath. “You know, I’m really not the enemy.”
He tenses and places his guitar gently on the pillows, closing his eyes briefly before slowly looking up at me. “I know, but it is hard having you around.”
Furrowing my brows, I tense up. “Why?”
He stiffens. “It’s hard to explain.”
“Can you try?”
“No,” he says bluntly.
“No? Just no?” I raise my eyebrows.
“Yeah! I can’t open up to you, Tillie.”
“Why not?”
“I just can’t, all right!”
Huffing, I stand, breathing harshly through my nose. “Fine! Don’t bother talking to me. I don’t know what I did to make you despise me so much, but I’ll keep away from you from now on.” I turn and head for the door. Tears well in my eyes as I reach for the door handle, but his grip on my shoulder stops me before spinning me around to face him.
Ryan pushes my body against the door with his, locking me in position. His gaze locks onto mine as his hand gently cradles my face, his thumb tracing a soft line along my cheek. His other hand spreads over my hip, igniting a spark that makes my breath hitch and sends my heart racing wildly in my chest. “Problem is… I don’t despise you, Tillie. As much as I tell myself to keepaway from you, my body and mind won’t listen to me.” He inches closer, and the smell of his freshly showered body mixed with mint from his breath sends warmth over me I can’t explain.
