I furrow my brows and suck on my bottom lip. “You think it’s too unsafe?”
He shrugs. “Too uncomfortable.” He stands and stumbles to the door.
My head jolts back in confusion, and my breath catches in my throat.Was he not in the moment like I was?Maybe thisisall one-sided. Perhaps the kiss stopped because I was forcing it, and he didn’t want it.
Oh my God, I’ve just made a fool of myself!
Swallowing hard as tears well in my eyes, I slowly sit up with a wince. It seems my right arm is hurt as well. Sniffing, I look to Lara.
“I’m sorry, Tillie, that was my fault. I pushed you two together before he was ready. But give it time. He’ll come around,” Lara says, and I wince.
“You did that pose so we would kiss?” I ask, and she purses her lips and nods.
“I’ve seen the way you guys look at each other, but you both fight it so hard. I just wanted to help things along.”
Sighing, I stand and move over, grabbing my bag and Hunter the rat. Tilting my head, I shrug. “See you next week, Lara,” I yell out over my shoulder.
“Bye, Tillie… and sorry again.”
“No, don’t be. We’re… complicated.”
Her lips form a thin line when Lara nods, and I walk out in search of Ryan, who’s standing against the wall, looking out the window to the street. He’s thinking about something, lost in his own world, but his solemn face tells a story I’m not sure I want to know.
Taking a steadying breath, I move behind him and stand tall, ready to talk. “You okay, sunshine?” I ask, repeating the words he said to me.
He turns, standing taller, his face brightening slightly. “Yeah, just lost in my own head.”
“What’s going on in there?” I ask as he steps toward me.
“Nothing that would interest you.” He continues past me, his shoulders slumped and his eyes unfocused.
“Ryan, you can talk to me.”
He exhales and turns back to me. “I don’t even know why I’m thinking about them. I only allow myself to think about them one day a year. That’s it! But then you come along and wake something up inside me,” he admits, and I’m more than a little confused.
“Ryan, what do you mean?” I take a step closer, searching his face.
His body tenses, his eyes widening with something close to regret. “I shouldn’t have said that. Forget it. It’s nothing. Let’s go back to the office, yeah?” He turns, walking down the hall, through the door, and out of sight.
I wish I knew what he was talking about.
He’s obviously hurting, and somehow, I’m bringing on that pain.
A heavy ache settles in my chest. Whatever pain he is carrying, I seem to be digging it back up without even knowing how or why.
And that I hate more than anything.
Taking a deep breath, I turn and follow Ryan, meeting him at the car. Apparently, he wants to drive again because he’s sitting in the driver’s seat waiting, so I silently place Hunter in the back seat, then slide into the passenger’s side. He briefly glances at me and then back to the road.
There’s an eerie silence before he starts the car. There is tension always between us, rippling off us in waves, but this? This is something else. Something new.
I felt the spark between us in the gym, and I know there’s a weird chemistry between Ryan and me, but whatever that chemistry is, it can never lead anywhere.
He’s my boss.
Plus, this is quite possibly one-sided.
One thing I know for sure is that I like him, just the way he is—ornery, arrogant, funny, and stubborn as hell. There’s something about him that eases my nerves and calms me, even when he’s boiling my blood. I want to help him, to save him from himself. The protector in me is strong when it comes to Ryan, but I have to bide my time. I can’t push my way in. He’s guarded, of that, I’m sure.
