She shrugs. “Well, life in general, I suppose, and maybe with me too. Look, Ryan, I know me coming in to help out was a big shock, but I’m not really that horrible… am I?”
I sigh and scratch my forehead. “Horrible, no, but you stole my role. It’s something I worked damn hard at, Tillie. Something I was proud of. You know what I mean?”
“I know, and I’m sorry to have taken that from you. But shouldn’t you have the band’s best interests at heart?”
“What? I do, Tillie!” My fingers clench, white-knuckling the steering wheel.
“Then, Ryan, you have to know I do a better job than you by now, surely?”
“Ha! Cocky much!”
This bitch, really!
“Not cocky, Ryan, not at all. I’ve had training that you haven’t. I know this industry. How to work the media. How to spin things. How to showcase you and the guys. It’s not a competition, Ryan. It’s just the facts. And the fact is Recoil needs me.”
With a scoff, I turn the car harshly around the next corner, causing her to slide over into the passenger’s door. She lets out an “oomph,” and I shake my head.
“This conversation is over!”
Chapter Six
TILLIE
One Week Later
It’s Wednesday, which means I’m going to yoga with Ryan again today. He’s been distant and quiet, but there is more to it. Ever since I started working with Recoil, Ryan has always had a glint of mischief, even though it’s obvious something is troubling him. Ever since our session last week, his spark has dimmed, and it has me on edge. I’m not sure whether I need to brace myself for what’s coming or if he’s resigned and accepted my position. Neither option seems safe. I’m hoping he'll drop his barriers again today and that I can get a feel for where he’s at.
Walking to the fire escape where I know he’ll be, I move through the door and up the stairs to the roof, where he’s sitting far too close to the edge, looking out over the city skyline. Swallowing hard, I move slowly toward him and take a cautious breath. He must hear my footsteps as I approach because he turns around, and his sunken eyes, rimmed by dark circles, take my breath, but not in a good way.
This man seems troubled, and I hate the look on his face.
“You okay?” I ask.
The faint smile he gives does nothing to appease me. “Yeah, I’m fine. Guess we have to go?”
I nod, and he stands upright on the edge of the building, making my heart jump into my throat and lodge itself firmly in place. He grins and jumps down onto safer ground, and I breathe a little easier.
“Geez, Tillie, you almost looked scared for me,” he says.
“You were being careless, Ryan. You need to be more sensible than climbing around on the edge of a ten-story building.”
He shrugs. “Is life worth living if you’re not on the edge?”
I let out a bemused laugh. “I prefer safe and solid ground. It’s sturdy, and you know where you’re headed.”
“Where’s the fun in that?” He turns and walks toward the fire escape.
I blow out a breath, shake my head, and walk with him down the stairs to the car in silence. I can’t help but notice his cheeky grin as if he’s up to something, but I ignore it as we climb in and head down the street toward the gym.
“Oh, hey, can you grab my sunglasses from the glove compartment for me?” he asks, his smirk growing wider.
Something’s definitely up with him.
“Sure,” I reply and reach out, pulling the handle down and opening the small compartment. As the door drops down, a medium-sized rodent scurries out and lands right in my lap. Its fur is dark gray. Its tail is long and pink, and it has beady little eyes staring right at me while its nose twitches frantically from side to side like it’s sniffing me for traces of food.
Ryan shifts in his seat like he’s waiting for me to scream, but I look down at the cute little guy and smile, moving my fingers to its fur and scratching its back. When it doesn’t move to bite or attack me, I know it’s a pet rat.
I pick the little guy up and bring him in line with my face, smiling and making kissy noises at him. He’s so cute, with his little brown eyes staring at me affectionately. “You’re an adorable little guy, aren’t you?” I say in a cutesy voice.
