“Good. Now do as your mother says and rehydrate.”
With a smirk, I pick up my water bottle and guzzle down half the contents quickly. We walk back inside, where Lunar is cooking dinner, and Danger moves in behind her, kissing Lunar’s neck, but she groans, pushing him off.
“Eww… you’re all sweaty.” She giggles.
“You like me hot and sweaty,” Danger teases, turning her around and kissing her lips. She slaps his chest while I laugh along with them.
“I was kicking his ass in sit-ups,” I lie.
“I bet you were, you sexy beast,” she chimes.
“You better believe it, sister!” I reply.
She giggles, and Danger slaps her ass as she turns back to stir the pot on the stove.
“How far off is dinner?” I ask.
“About half an hour,” Lunar tells me.
“Cool. I’m gonna shower.”
Leaving the lovebirds, I walk off to head upstairs to my ensuite to get cleaned up. My feet feel heavy, and my muscles ache with each step as I head for my room, the weight of my workout hitting me full force.
My bedroom looks the same as always—very bacheloresque.
When Katie died, I changed it all.
I didn’t want the constant reminder of my wife.
I wish I hadn’t done that now.
I wish I still had her things with me.
I wish I still had her clothes in our closet and her perfumes in the ensuite.
But none of it is there.
I wish I still had her.
Danger and Lunar now sleep in Maddie’s room, so none of her stuff is in there, either. It’s like their memory has been wiped from this house and replaced with other memories. I had to do it at the time. It was easier not to see them everywhere. But now? Now I long to see one of Maddie’s toys or a piece of Katie’s jewelry lying around.
I miss them.
Every day.
My stomach churns, and I shake my head from the thoughts as I strip, throwing the sweaty gym clothes in the basket, and make my way to the shower. It’s funny how, after being so in love with someone and then them being taken from you, how you feel like you could never possibly move on. It’s been nine years, and I still feel like that, even though I’ve had countless women in my bed. But the thought of falling in love with someone scares the shit out of me. I don’t even know if it’s possible for me, or if I even want to, or if, even more importantly, I am capable of it.
Turning on the shower, I make it as hot as I can stand it and step in. The water cascades over my sweaty, sticky skin. It burns, but the burn is good. I need it to make me feel alive.
My mind wanders, thinking about how Katie would want me to move on, but how I keep stopping myself from findingthat person. A person who’s worth laying everything on the line for.
Suddenly, a face flashes into my mind, and I’m shocked.
Tillie.
I can’t help but think about how understatedly sexy she is when she gets grouchy. A flash of her standing in her office wearing only a bra and her skirt, clambering to cover herself as I walked in, bolts through my brain. My cock hardens, and myhand inadvertently moves down to stroke it. I let out a groan, finally letting off some tension.
Her face flashes behind my closed eyes again as I tug on my cock, and I place my other hand against the wall, steadying myself. I pull harder, bringing myself a pleasure I haven’t felt for a while.
