‘I’ll get Uncle Domenico.’ Her brother Giovanni brushed past Mamma on the stairs. The front door slammed shut behind him.
Stella ran to the hall. She grabbed the phone from its cradle, dialled 112, her fingers fumbling out the number. Upstairs Mamma screamed, ‘Arturo, Arturo,’ over and over again.
Her sister walked quietly downstairs, hand gripping the banister.
‘Oh, Stella,’ Marta said. ‘What have you done?’
* * *
For once in her life, Lauren was silent. Apparently, none of her management training had prepared her for this. No pithy soundbite culled from a PowerPoint presentation could save the day. Stella almost felt sorry for Lauren. She’d never seen her daughter flounder for words like this.
‘It wasn’t really your fault, Mum,’ Lauren said at last. ‘You were just a foolish teenager; you didn’t mean any harm.’
‘Sometimes it doesn’t matter what our intentions are, the results are just the same. It didn’t matter to your Uncle Domenico whether I meant to kill his brother or not. I’ll never forget his face that day.’ And she’d never forget the terrible groans Domenico made, thumping up and down on his brother’s chest. They might have saved Papà if it happened now, Stella thought. Earlier that day she’d noticed a glass box holding a defibrillator, screwed to the wall of the bar.
‘Domenico was probably just in shock. What about your mamma and your brother and sister?’
‘Mamma couldn’t look at me. At the funeral I put my hand on her arm and she shook me away. I know Marta and Giovanni blamed me too. Of course, they said they didn’t but I knew.’
‘Is that why I never met them? Why we never went out to Italy to see your family?’
‘My sister did invite your dad and me to her wedding years later but I didn’t even tell Ricky about the invitation. I knew she didn’t really want us there. I never heard from Marta or Giovanni after that.’
‘And Gino? What happened to you and him?’
Stella swallowed. It was still so painful to go there. ‘Gino wanted us to keep seeing each other but after we met up once or twice, I knew it had to end. When I closed my eyes to kiss him all I could see was Papà collapsing, clutching his chest. As soon as I could, I left the village for England to stay with an old friend of the family. She got me enrolled into a school for my A levels and looked after me. I thought at first I might go back to Italy after that but I could tell when Mamma answered the phone that I would never feel truly welcome there. I never blamed her. Papà was the love of her life, as important as Gino was to me.’
Lauren’s face clouded. ‘Is that why you married Dad? For security, to create a new family because you couldn’t go home?’
‘I never thought of it like that. I fell for your dad because he seemed so like Gino, wild and full of life, fun and exciting. Not the best qualities for a marriage, I suppose.’
Ricky had the same sparkling green eyes as Gino, the same untamed hair. He would have jumped on that red moped just the same. With Ricky she could dream those same crazy dreams. But her ex-husband had turned out to be nothing like her first love. Gino was a charmer, spontaneous, occasionally reckless too but underneath he had a serious side. His anchors were family – no matter how much he railed against Fernanda’s rules, he loved his strict mamma – and community. If there was a stage to be built for the village festa he’d be helping the men to secure the scaffolding, if there was an appeal for funds for Sant’ Agata’s he’d go through his old books and toys finding something he could donate or sell.
Ricky had been all surface charm, no substance. When she’d looked for something more, her husband had made her believe that she was at fault for being boring. In Ricky’s words she was ‘no fun any more’. It wasn’t until she sat alone for hours with baby Lauren that she finally saw him for what he was but she had stuck it out until Lauren went off to college, determined to give her daughter a stable home.
‘Dad was always fun though,’ Lauren said.
‘He never picked you up from school.’
‘Somehow that never seemed to matter. But that’s because I had you.’
‘And I had you, so everything worked out for the best.’
‘I thought you were rushing into this marriage but I can see why you want to be with Joe. He’s so different from Dad… I saw Dad in town the other day, did I tell you?’
Stella plucked a leaf from the basil plant, holding it under her nose and breathing in its comforting scent. ‘No, you didn’t. He didn’t ask you for money again, did he?’
Lauren laughed. ‘Dad gave up asking me the day I offered him a loan and presented him with a list of repayment conditions. He seemed shocked that I equated the concept of lending money with getting my cash back.’
‘I’m so sorry.’
‘It’s not your fault, Mum. Anyhow it doesn’t really bother me. Dad’s a loveable rogue. He’ll never change. He was with another new girlfriend, Maya she’s called. Apparently, she plays the tambourine in his new band. I’m not sure how old she is but I’d say she’s younger than me.’
‘Oh dear.’ Stella cringed.
‘It’s not a good look. You’re so much better off with Joe.’
‘But Joe’s not here.’
