‘So, you knew that I knew it was him. When I didn’t go to the Head to clear your name, you must have hated me.’
Raj ran his finger down the side of his beer bottle. ‘I’m a realist, Phil, you know that. I was sad, disappointed but I didn’t hate you. The law of the jungle ruled in that place and you needed Evan’s protection. I saw that perv, King, in the changing room putting his hand on your knee. I knew it wasn’t just a friendly pat; there was something about the look on his face. I should have spoken up too, reported King. So, I guess now we can call it quits.’
‘No. No way are we quits! They would never have taken your word against King’s. He would have charmed his way out of it then made your life hell. But what I did – or didn’t do – was pure cowardice. I ruined your life and I’ve never forgiven myself. You were cleverer than me, more hard-working, a better person. And I’m the one who’s ended up with everything.’
‘And I’ve got nothing? Is that what you think? Tell me, Phil, what is it that you’ve got that I haven’t? Is it your wife? Is she prettier than mine? Nicer? Kinder?’
‘Of course not! Neelam’s lovely. I never meant to imply?—’
‘Is it your kids then? It took me and Neelam a long time to conceive, but are your children better than mine?’
‘No! No!’ Phil didn’t know how he’d lost control of the conversation. He and Cate had gone up Vesuvius once. He felt as though he were back there now wobbling on the edge of a crater, everything hanging on one false step.
‘If it’s not my family, it must be my job. We’re both businessmen but I’ll admit your business is worth more than mine.’
‘Well, umm, yes.’ Phil was back on safer ground. His furniture company turned over millions. Raj couldn’t argue with that.
‘You’ve made more money than me, for sure. You can buy all this stuff.’ Raj flicked a finger against Phil’s watch. ‘That’s a Rolex Submariner, isn’t it? Nice! Very useful if you need to dive down a few hundred feet. I paid twenty-five quid for my Casio and it still tells the time.’
‘I always wanted a nice watch and it’s an investment.’
‘Not a status symbol, then?’
Phil didn’t answer. He turned his attention to the beer he’d hardly touched.
Raj sighed. ‘I’m glad you’ve done well, Phil. I really am. You learning those crafts with Evan’s uncle and taking over the business meant something good came of it all. And I’ll admit, being a franchisee of Costless Coffee doesn’t make me much money but there’s no need to look down your nose at me.’
‘I’d never do that, honestly! There’s nothing wrong with running a coffee shop. People want to drink coffee. I want to drink coffee! I just know you could have done more.’
‘Done more?’ Raj’s voice was laden with vitriol. ‘I’ll have you know I’m proud of what I do. You make beautiful works of art for wealthy people who have more than enough already. How many of them really appreciate what they buy? How many really appreciate you? My branch of Costless is in a rundown arcade sandwiched between a vape shop and a place that cuts keys butImake a difference, and you know what makesmehappy?’ He jabbed a finger at Phil. ‘It’s the single mum who pours her heart out and tells me I’m better than therapy, the staff who sneak free cuppas to the dishevelled lady pushing her belongings around in a supermarket trolley when they think I’m not looking, the three lonely old men who now meet each other for some warmth and company. I go home every night knowing me and my shop make a difference.’
Raj leant right over the table, his now beery breath in Phil’s face. ‘So, don’t you ever tell me my life’s not as good as yours. And I’ll tell you something else you’re wrong about. I wasn’t a victim; I chose to leave Hillingdon. I could have fought my corner, told them what I knew, but I didn’t. I’m not like you, Phil. I was proud to get that scholarship but I never wanted to be one of them. I never wanted to be anyone but myself. Sure, I would have got better grades, more opportunities staying there, but during the Christmas holidays, I’d found something I wanted more: a beautiful, green-eyed girl.’
‘Neelam?’
‘Yes.’ Raj’s face softened. ‘She was working in my uncle’s shop. We met up a couple of times and I could tell she liked me too. I could have chatted to her online, seen her in the holidays, but I knew some other boy would date her if I was away for weeks on end at school. So, in a way I was relieved to leave. It was that and protecting Evan too.’
Phil gaped. ‘You wanted to protect him? Why? You weren’t even friends.’
‘It was his dad. I knew what he was like.’
‘Evan did tell me once that they had a difficult relationship. When he died suddenly a couple of years ago, Evan was a bit all over the place, like he wasn’t sure how he should feel.’
‘His dad was a violent bully.’
‘What?’ Phil spluttered on his beer.
‘One Sports Day, my dad had left his glasses in the glove compartment; I volunteered to run back to the car. Evan was with his parents; they’d just arrived. His dad was ranting about the traffic. Then he started having a go at Evan about something. He was pretty aggressive; he had his arm twisted up behind his back. I ducked down behind our car. I didn’t want Evan to know I’d seen. His dad marched him off towards the sports field. His mum stayed behind for a few minutes leaning against their Range Rover, making a call. It was a windy day; she had one hand on her phone, the other fussing with her hair. Her skirt blew up before she could stop it. That’s when I saw the bruises all over her legs.
‘I stayed crouched behind our car until she walked away. A couple of years later, I saw her picture in the paper. “Tragic death of MP’s wife”. It said she’d died falling from a hotel balcony in Portugal late at night on a trip to celebrate their wedding anniversary. A freak accident. But I always wondered.’
Phil gulped. ‘You think he pushed her off?’
‘I don’t know and I never will but I can’t help feeling I’m partly responsible if he did. Things might have been different if I’d spoken up and reported him to the police that day.’
‘She would have been too scared to tell the truth; she would probably have said she fell down the stairs.’
‘That’s what I tell myself on the good days. Other times, I’m not so sure. So, you see, Phil, I was as weak as you. We both failed to speak up, failed to do what was right. But we can’t turn back the clock.’ Raj picked up his beer and downed the rest of it in one. ‘Now, drink up. We need to go and meet our better halves.’
