‘You’re not? After all this time, why not? Were you worried about upsetting your dad?’
Cate gave a strange sort of snort. ‘Hardly. He wasn’t worried about upsetting me.’
Natalie hastily ordered two more coffees from the confused waiter who’d appeared holding the card reader. Never mind the extra caffeine, she and Cate weren’t going anywhere. Not until she’d got to the bottom of this.
‘Why then? What’s the big mystery?’
Cate sighed. ‘I used to fantasise about meeting Mum, you know. I imagined her living in a grand palace or castle in some faraway place with a big doll’s house in a pink bedroom just waiting for me. When Dad confessed he’d always known where she was, I wanted to get straight back on a plane. But I was just a school kid; how could I have afforded to get the money for a ticket? Dad wasn’t going to give it to me, that’s for sure, even if he’d had any spare cash, which he didn’t.’
‘But that’s hardly a problem now.’ Natalie glanced pointedly at Cate’s handbag.
‘No. Of course, you’re right, that’s not the reason. And even at uni, I could have lived on beans and gone to Italy. It’s just…’
Natalie waited, glad that the swift arrival of the coffee gave her something to do other than watch Cate shifting awkwardly on her chair, playing with her gem-studded stacking rings.
‘Dad and I never moved; he stayed in that council house where he and Mum lived until he had to go into the nursing home. He wouldn’t even budge after I married Phil. He said he didn’t want our charity. Mum knew where I was. She knew exactly where to find me. She could have come back to see me any time. Dad couldn’t have stopped her. Not if she really wanted to.’
‘Oh, Cate.’ Natalie’s heart went out to her. ‘There could be any number of reasons why she didn’t come back.’
‘Dad never really explained why Mum went. I always thought they’d had a row and he’d told her to leave. I wish I’d pushed him for answers back then, but the way he is now, it’s too late. Now I’m here, it feels like I’ve got to find out. But I’m scared. Scared that she won’t want to see me.’
‘What does Phil say about all this?’
‘I haven’t told him. I don’t want to tell him unless she wants to see me.’
‘Doesn’t he think it’s strange you’d come to Venice and not try to visit her?’
Cate chewed her lip. A couple sat down at the empty table next to them, dropping their shopping bags at their feet, discussing what they would and wouldn’t have to drink whilst the waiter hovered. Natalie waited.
Eventually, Cate mumbled, ‘He doesn’t know she’s still alive.’
‘You told him she was dead?’ Natalie’s voice came out a little louder than she intended. The women on the next table, who’d finally decided on nothing more exciting than a couple ofcaffè lattes, turned and stared.
‘Not exactly. I just never corrected him when he assumed that was the reason I’d never tried to make contact.’
‘But why?’ Natalie asked, dropping her voice this time.
‘Phil’s always got on with his folks; he struggles to understand why I didn’t make up with Dad. I always get the impression he thinks it’s a bit of a character failing though he’d never say so. He knows Mum left when I was a baby but when I told him she was no longer around, he misinterpreted what I said and it just seemed easier not to correct him. I knew he’d be nagging me to go and find her and I didn’t know if I could. Phil’s parents doted on him. His dad’s passed away but his mum’s house is full of family pictures. She’s even still got one of his first day at school up on the mantelpiece looking all shy in his cap and a blazer that was way too big for him. I don’t want him dwelling on why Mum left. I didn’t want him or my boys to see me as someone damaged and unlovable.’
Natalie instinctively touched her old school friend’s soft hand. ‘I’m sure whatever the truth is about your mum, it wouldn’t affect how your family think of you.’
‘Maybe you’re right but if Mum rejects me, I couldn’t bear Phil to know.’
‘This has been haunting you, hasn’t it?’ She couldn’t imagine what Cate had been going through. Natalie had always taken her own mum and dad’s love for granted; she supposed most people did.
Cate nodded. She looked close to tears. ‘I’ve been terrified of the thought of sneaking off by myself. You will come with me, won’t you? There’s no one else I can ask.’
‘Of course. We’ll go now.’ Natalie rooted in her purse to find some cash; she was too impatient to wait for the waiter to go off and fetch the card reader.
Cate picked up her bag, her second coffee untouched.
‘Are you okay, Cate? Are you sure you want to do this?’
‘Yes… but you won’t put any of this in the programme, will you? Promise me.’
‘Of course not, don’t worry.Together At Lastis a completely different show.’ Flo-Go’s other production specialised in heartwarming family reconciliations. The stories that ended in slammed doors and shattered dreams didn’t make the screen. That wasn’t what the gene-testing company who sponsored the show wanted their viewers to see.
Natalie forced a big smile. ‘Everything will work out, you’ll see.’
