Page 82 of Bedside Manner


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I walk out into the cold bay. The wind is still howling, mocking me.

I stand there, staring into the whiteout, waiting for the lights.

Come back,I think, projecting the thought into the storm.Come back to me, Jax. I don't care about Sterling. I don't care about the Board. Just come back.

I wait.

Chapter 17

Triage

Maxwell

Time is not a constant.

In the Operating Room, time is a resource I control. I can stop the heart. I can extend the ischemic window with cold cardioplegia. I can manipulate seconds into minutes.

But standing in the ambulance bay of St. Jude’s Medical centre, staring into the white void of the blizzard, time is a weapon. And it is bludgeoning me to death.

It has been twenty-two minutes since the radio went silent.

"Dr. York."

I feel a weight settle on my shoulders. A heavy wool blanket.

I turn. Nurse Ortiz is standing there. She looks small and frightened in the red glow of the emergency lights.

"You’re freezing," she whispers.

I look down at my hands. They are blue. I am wearing onlymy suit jacket. The wind chill is twenty below zero. I hadn't noticed.

"I am fine," I say. My voice is shards of glass.

"They... Fire Rescue radioed," Ortiz says hesitantly. "They got a winch line down to the bus. They’re bringing up the survivors."

"Is he one of them?" I ask.

Ortiz looks away. "They didn't say names, Doctor. They just said 'Casualties'."

Casualties.

The word hangs in the air, heavier than the snow.

I look back at the darkness.

I think about the Board. I think about my mother’s dinner table. I think about the perfect, sterile office I fought so hard to keep.

It all feels like ash.

If he is dead, I saved both our careers for nothing. If he is dead, the "York Legacy" ends with a lonely man in a penthouse apartment who never got to be with the one man who broke through his icy facade.

Come back,I plead silently.I will use every fork in the drawer. I will let you eat chips in the OR. Just come back.

A light cuts through the storm.

"Incoming!" a triage nurse shouts.

The heavy rumble of a diesel engine shakes the concrete. It’s not an ambulance. It’s a Heavy Rescue fire truck, chains clanking on its massive tires.