"Like kiss you," he says. "In front of Alistair. And I don't think either of us is ready for that level of method acting."
He finally releases my hand. The loss of warmth is immediate and jarring.
"Okay," he says, picking up his beer. "Now that we’ve handled the physical therapy, we need the real intel. No binder."
"The binder is accurate," I argue.
"The binder is boring. I need to knowyou, Max. Not just your parents' quirks."
He takes a sip.
"So," he says. "No notes. No prep. Just us. What’s your favorite color?"
I blink. "That is irrelevant."
"It’s basic. Answer the question."
"Cerulean," I say. "It is the color of oxygenated blood."
Jax snorts. "Of course it is. Mine is green. Army green. Because it’s the only color that doesn't show dirt."
"Practical," I allow.
"Favorite movie?" Jax asks.
"Casablanca," I say. "The lighting is exquisite."
"Die Hard," Jax counters. "Because Bruce Willis fixes problems with duct tape and attitude."
"That explains so much about your surgical technique."
He grins. "Your turn. Ask me something."
I look at him. I realize I don't know much about him at all, other than the fact that he saves lives and eats garbage.
"Why Trauma?" I ask. "You have the hands for Neuro. You have the patience for Ortho. Why the Pit?"
Jax’s smile fades a little. He traces the condensation on his glass.
"Because in Trauma, you don't have to wait," he says quietly. "In Cardio, you plan. You consult. You prep. In Trauma... something breaks, and you fix it. Right there. No waiting. No time to doubt yourself. You just... act."
"Immediate gratification," I diagnose.
"Immediate redemption," he corrects.
I pause. The noise of the bar fades away.
"Redemption for what?" I ask.
Jax looks up. His eyes are guarded.
"For the ones I couldn't fix," he says. "The ones who didn't make it to the table."
He takes a long pull of his beer.
"Your turn," he says, deflecting. "Why Cardio? Why the heart?"
I hesitate. I have never told anyone the real reason. I tell them it is the most prestigious specialty. I tell them it is the most complex.
