“Well, we needed some wood, and yours certainly didn’t disappoint.” Kai laughs and I feel my cheeks burn. While we didn’t talk, I couldn’t help shouting as I came. The climactic release of tension after the anticipation and build up to actually having sex on camera, and of course it being Kai... “Don’t worry, I’ll edit out any noise and add a music soundtrack to it.”
I sigh with relief. “I don’t think I’m cut out to be a camboy.”
Kai comes over to me, leans in close, and says in a voice that makes me shiver, “You can perform for me anytime. C’mon, let’s clean up again and get some food.”
He leads the way back to the bathroom and this time we take a longer shower, taking turns to wash each other. As I rub shampoo into his hair, him leaning into my touch and humming with pleasure, I realise I’ve never done this with another person. I’ve never washed another man’s hair, and somehow it feels far more intimate than sex. I can’t imagine ever not caring for him this much, though, and the heavy blooming in my chest is back. After we’ve finished our shower and towelled ourselves dry, pulling on sweatpants and T-shirts, we curl up on Kai’s bed, opting for snacks and movie watching for the evening.
“You’re very quiet. Is everything okay?” Kai asks, turning his attention to me. I don’t want to lie to him. I remember what happened the last time we didn’t talk to each other.
“I don’t know. I keep getting this feeling in my heart, like it’s about to burst out of my chest. I can’t decide if I’m having a heart attack or falling in love.”
Kai puts down his bowl and kneels, straddling my lap. He places a hand either side of my face and looks down at me with his honey-gold eyes.
“I hope it’s the second one. I don’t want you to have a heart attack, but also, I’m falling for you too. I love you, Jason, I have for a while, a long while. But it’s hard to pinpoint the exact moment, isn’t it?”
I latch onto his words. He loves me! I can’t answer his question, I don’t know the moment either. This time my heart nearly breaks the constraints of my ribcage and I have to breathe deeply to bring my heart rate back under control.
“I’m scared, Kai. I feel like I’m standing at the top of a cliff, and if I take one step, I’ll fall.”
“What if you fly instead?” he whispers and leans down, kissing me. His lips break my defences and I do fall. The heavy pressure in my chest splinters into a thousand butterflies and I fly, soaring into the sky.
CHAPTER 20
KAI
Igaze up at the blue sky. High up, white clouds drift lazily by. It’s the first real warm day of spring and we’ve rowed out to the island on the lake for a picnic. I’m lying on a blanket and I stretch languidly, not wanting to move just yet. I reach for Jason’s hand, interlacing my fingers with his.
“Hey, beauty.” Jason rolls over onto one elbow and looks down at me. I love how he calls me that and I smile up at him.
“If you’d told me a few months ago that this would be my life, I’d have thought you were mad.”
“I didn’t know you a few months ago,” he says, even though he knows exactly what I mean. The change from failing to get acting jobs and wondering how I could afford my rent or next meal to owning this vast estate and a title hasn’t been easy, but the best thing of it all has easily been meeting Jason.
“That’s my favourite part of this fairy story, meeting you.” I watch his slightly bashful smile at my words. I love that sensitiveside of him and that he isn’t arrogant. I think that’s made the transition from him being a member of the staff to sharing my bed go so smoothly. They’re all like family and are happy for us both. He still works for me, though. He says he still needs something to do and the estate is too much for Jordan to look after on his own. “All of this would feel empty without you by my side. I’d just be a mad recluse rattling around a big old house.”
“I would never call you mad,” he says, leaning down and brushing my lips with his. “You can invite friends.”
“If I had friends, they’d be here already. I have Tate, but he’s in LA.” My last text from him was that he’d got a part in another film and had no plans to come back to the UK any time soon, and last week we cancelled the rent on our flat as I don’t need it either. The sale of the paintings went well two weeks ago. The Rubens sold for a high enough price to make the total I needed to pay for the tax, and left enough in the bank for me to be comfortable for a short while. The bill was paid last week. The hall is safe and all mine, and tonight there’s a dinner to celebrate for us all. It wasn’t my idea; Martha wanted to host it. I secretly think she loves cooking for lots of people.
“So it’ll be just you and me rattling around in it, then.” He grins.
“I can live with that,” I say, pulling him down for a brief kiss. “But also, I’ve been giving thought to the amazing idea my gorgeous, sexy, genius of a boyfriend came up with.”
“Boyfriend?”
“You don’t like being called that?” I frown. Have I said something wrong?
“I love it. I’m just not used to it.” He smiles and kisses me, so deeply I forget what I’m about to say. We eventually part, breathless and with bruised lips.
“We should go,” Jason says, sitting up and beginning to pack away the picnic, putting the boxes and plates back into the basket that Martha prepared for us earlier. I rise and fold up the blanket we’d been lying on, then I walk over to the small folly on the island, remembering that my uncle also used to hold some of his parties here. It has a Roman feel to it—a pitched roof held up by ionic columns, and stone benches adorned with details of scrolls and vine leaves. It would make a great set, and I add it to my list of ideas.
Jason rows us back to the boathouse, and once the boat is secured we walk hand in hand back up the hill to the hall.
“I still think we need peacocks,” I say. “I would love to see them strutting about, and I always think the sound they make is synonymous with country houses.”
“As they’ll be part of the gardens, will I have to look after them? If so, I'll have to ask for a raise.” He smirks.
“Oh, I think I’ll change your title. Boyfriend and Keeper of the Peacocks.” His laughter wraps around me and I join in. Then I see Jones rushing towards us and we both stop suddenly. He reaches us, slightly out of breath and with a worried look on his face. This can’t be good news.
