“I think there’s a hint of jasmine in there too.” I watch as he takes another sniff and a small frown appears on his brow.
“I don’t think I know what jasmine smells like.”
“We have some here, but they don’t flower until June. I can show you then if you want,” I reply, watching as he gives a small thoughtful nod. Damn, what am I saying? No doubt the house will be sold by then and who knows what will happen. I kick myself for bringing it up, but it wasn’t intentional. Half of my job is knowing when the flowers will bloom and how to make the best of the flowering season.
“I’m going down to the grove, would you like to come?” he says, and I’m pleased he doesn’t dwell on the future.
“Of course,” I reply and fall into step beside him. Definitely for no other reason than because it’d be wrong to refuse my boss and not so I can be in his company for a little longer. To prolong his company until that moment he says he needs to go and then strides off back to the hall, leaving me with just the view of his back and the memory of his smile.
“Have you found anything more in your uncle’s diaries?”
“Quite a few interesting things. I’m trying to decipher the code he had for naming people. I’ve found enough to know most of them are public figures, or very wealthy. Not that I would ever go public with that knowledge,” he adds quickly, and I glance athim, his chin set defiantly. I nod and he relaxes a little. I don’t know why he thought he needed to justify himself to me. But all the same, I’m pleased he won’t expose the secrets we’ve all kept for so long.
“I’ve come here to photograph the statues as it might help to have them in front of me as I read the journals. But I’m most curious about this fellow.” He comes to a halt in front of the statue he identified as his uncle with the other man. “Whilst I think there was a certain amount of sharing going on amongst the regulars who used to meet here, my uncle did seem to have a deep regard, maybe even love, for one particular man. I think this is him, since my uncle chose him to appear in the statue with him.”
As I watch him take photos of all the statues in turn from several angles I keep quiet. I made my promise to keep the earl’s secrets and I’ll honour that, but also I think Kai is enjoying the investigation. He seems more animated when he talks about his uncle and takes delight in snapping the pictures. I wouldn’t want to take that away from him. When he’s finished and he returns to stand in front of his uncle’s statue, he reaches out to touch it in a gesture that looks like he’s trying to connect with it. He doesn’t move for a minute, just keeps his hand on the cold stone in silent contemplation.
Eventually he turns round and leans back against the statue, sliding down to sit on the plinth. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a bar of chocolate.
“Would you like some?” He holds it up. His smile is hopeful and there’s no way I can refuse him. I sit next to him at the base of the statue and lean my back against it. He opens the chocolate wrapper and breaks off half the bar, passing me the rest of it.
“Tell me about yourself,” he says, taking a bite of chocolate.
“There’s not much to tell,” I reply.
“Nonsense.” He flicks a glance at me. “What do you do when you’re not working? Do you have any hobbies? Family? Wife? Kids?”
I nearly snort at the last two questions, instead taking a bite of the chocolate bar to buy myself time. I can’t say “no to the last two, and in my spare time I like to watch videos on For my Fans of a guy who reminds me of you.” I decide to play it simple and safe instead.
“I’m not in a relationship right now. My family is my brother, my sister-in-law, and their two boys. In my spare time I enjoy football.”
“Football, huh? To watch or play?”
“Both.”
“I know very little about football, but what’s your favourite team?”
I tell him about Forest, and how I’ve supported them since Jordan and I were taken to a match by our Dad when we were barely old enough to understand the game. How his enthusiasm infused us and has stayed with us ever since. How we go to almost every match, and that we play on Sundays, along with Kim and the boys. He listens intently and asks questions. He’s easy to talk to, and feeling a connection, wanting him to understand me, maybe even like me, I tell him far more than I planned.
“I’d love to go to a game one day,” he says with almost a wistful tone when I come to a stop. He stands abruptly and I quickly join him.
“Bye Jason,” he quickly utters before hurriedly walking back along the Aspen walk.
I stare after him, wondering if I did something wrong to make him leave. Was his comment about wanting to see a match a hint? Did he want an invitation? I’m not good with subtle clues. Did I talk too much? I thought it had been going really well, but now I realise it was just a conversation, someone for him to talk to to break up the day, nothing more. That’s fine with me. I already know I shouldn’t harbour thoughts of anything more, even if my heart lifts a little every time he appears.
I go back to work, unable to shake my jumbled emotions aside. Every few minutes I glance at the hall, but I know he’s not going to be back out again today. I’m silent during lunch, which Jordan notices, but I brush off his queries as feeling tired and refuse his invitation to join him and Kim for dinner. Instead I go home and fix myself a simple meal of pasta.
I settle into bed and open For my Fans—it’s the only thing I feel like doing tonight. I can lose myself in a fantasy world, letting it calm me and allowing me to forget the impossibility of the earl ever noticing me. I can’t see any harm in watching his likeness, except I might fall deeper into a spiral of wanting him of course, but not watching leads to sleepless nights, tossing and turning in frustration, so it’s better to just give in. LegacyinLace is now in my favourites, so I open the page straight away. His follower account goes up daily. I can see he has twenty thousand already and there’s only a few videos available so far, all of which I’ve seen several times. There’s a new one available, and I prop my laptop up and sit back as it starts to play.
At first he’s not in shot, and all I can see is a wingback chair, which has featured a couple of times, but this time it’s in front of a folding screen, the panels covered in peacocks. A few seconds after the music starts he walks into shot, covered in a black silk robe and the customary black and gold mask he’s worn since the second video. He twirls in a complete circle and then, facing the camera, lets the robe slide to the ground.
I let out a gasp. He’s wearing a black lacy thong and black stockings, has on long black gloves that reach to his elbows, and round his neck he’s flung a black feather boa. I’ve never been into femme men before, but he’s beautiful. The black in contrast to his pale skin makes him look otherworldly, like a forest nymph.
He turns slowly, gyrating in time to the music, then he takes off the feather boa, winding it round different parts of his body. With his back to the camera, he slides it down over his arse, bending over at the same time so I catch a glimpse of his hole past the thong string.
My hand grips my own cock as I almost salivate, and a mental image of what it would be like to rip the thong off with my teeth makes me groan out loud. He dances for a few more minutes, the curves of his slim frame accentuated by the lighting. Mesmerised, I watch as he pulls the boa between his legs then kneels on the chair, facing away from the camera. He leans forward again putting his arse on view, and runs his gloved hands over his cheeks, kneading them and then parting them to give a view of his pucker again.
God, what I’d give to lick it, suck it, fuck it. I don’t think I have enough money to pledge for that, but I can dream anyway. He traces round his hole with a black-gloved finger, pushing the thong out of the way before dipping it inside. He must have donea great deal of prep, which makes it even hotter to watch as his fingers encased in black silk slide in and out of his hole.
