Andrés: Me too.
I’m starting to feel the jet lag taking hold, so I put my phone down and pick up a book I bought at the airport. I didn’t have much time to read at the resort, and I didn’t want to carry books around with me, but I hope to get back into reading a lot more now I’m here. Especially if my aunt and uncle run a bookstore. Maybe I’ll check it out tomorrow. Sleep starts to take over and then I hear my phone buzz.
Andrés: Can I take you on a date?
I chuckle at his formal politeness, and almost text him back in the same manner, but in the end I reply:
Simon: Yes of course, I’d love that. When?
I wait, wondering what he’ll suggest, conflicting thoughts running through my head. I want to see him soon, but I’m also a guest at my aunt’s house.
Andrés: Friday?
I breathe a sigh of relief that it isn’t today. Friday’s in three days, so that gives me a deadline to work towards. I can do it.
Simon: Perfect.
Sleep overtakes me then and I don’t wake until I hear Aunt Lizzie knocking on my door. I’m still tired and try my best to act human during dinner, but I don’t succeed very well, though the food revives me a little. Thankfully I’m not required to contribute much, and I let the usual family dinner conversation go on around me. Belle talks about her day, how she’s secured a part in the school play. Drew is quieter, and as soon as dinner is finished he takes himself off to start gaming. I offer to help clear away, and while I do, Uncle Ryan makes coffee and invites me to sit with them.
“It’s good to see you again, Simon. Lizzie’s been worried about you.”
“I know and I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to lose touch. I just wanted to focus on following my dreams. But that didn’t work so well.”
“What dreams were those?” he asks, and I tell them both the whole story about wanting to run my own restaurant, how I was saving up, and how I’d lost it. I also include the hardest part. My parents never owned their own house, so when they passed there wasn’t a lot of money. What I did receive was enough to finish college and the rest was the foundation of my savings. I lost it all, and that’s the most painful point. I have nothing of them left apart from fading memories and a few photos. As I speak, Lizzie reaches across the table and covers my hand with hers. The small gesture of comfort is almost overwhelming, and I press my lips together and take a few deep breaths until I can speak again.
“You’re still young, Simon, you can still follow your dreams. It just might take a bit longer,” Uncle Ryan says and I give him agrateful smile for his optimism. I wish I shared it, but I don’t right now. “What are your plans now?”
“I want to find a job first. Get back on my feet. Get somewhere to stay. Then I want to see how I feel.”
“You’re welcome to stay with us for as long as you need to,” Aunt Lizzie adds, and I thank them both for their kindness.
The next morning I ask to see the bookstore and I travel with them. Not that it’s far, but their house is on a newer development just outside town. Afterwards, I intend to catch a bus to Oxford to check it out and look up any job agencies in the area, and sometimes enquiring directly to hotels and restaurants can work too. I also want to visit the clinic. I was always meticulous about being tested, but with what happened and then staying up at the resort in the mountains, it wasn’t something I kept up with.
The town centre is charming, loads of old buildings, a large church, and a good array of shops. I can see a couple of pubs, a florist, a grocery store, as well as some handicraft and art shops. The bookstore and cafe is bigger than I thought it would be; somehow I’d imagined it to be quaint. There are a couple of early customers, so I turn to browsing while my aunt and uncle serve them. I wander the shelves, noting a few new titles from some of my favourite authors, then I come across a surprisingly large and well-stocked LGBTQ section. I pull down a few titles and start looking through them, becoming engrossed.
“That’s a good choice, it’s popular.” My aunt’s voice at my elbow startles me and I jump.
“I-I-thank you,” I stammer, my face heating up so much I nearly catch fire. I quickly close the book and slide it back onto the shelves, not sure where to put myself.
“We have a vibrant queer community in town. The same down the road in Larchdown. Sometimes I think they like to compete with each other.” I study my aunt’s face but I see nothing but kindness and understanding in her eyes. I sigh, my shoulders drooping.
“Am I that obvious?”
“No, Simon,” she says and steers me over to one of the tables. She must have signalled to Uncle Ryan as a few of minutes later he appears with a couple of drinks. “We might have lost touch, but don’t forget I’ve known you for a long time. So no, I didn’t know, but I suspected.”
“I hardly knew myself back then,” I say and she gives me a small smile. “How on earth did you have an idea?”
“Probably because your mum and I were more worldly wise than teenagers. We could see patterns, how kids behave, the subtle clues that aren’t obvious to hormone-ridden youths.”
At the mention of my mum a lump forms in my throat. I swallow round it but my voice still cracks, the wound still raw. “I never got to tell my parents. I’ve always regretted that. I would’ve liked for them to know.”
Aunt Lizzie reaches out and gives my arm a squeeze. “I think your mum knew, love. Certainly as much as me, as we spoke about it.”
“You spoke about me?”
“Often. She was very proud of you, you know.” Her words settle in me, and although it still hurts that I couldn’t tell her myself, the knowledge that my mum at least had an idea soothes the pain.
“Thank you,” I whisper and she draws me into one of her big hugs.
