“I’m sorry for bringing it up.” I don’t know if it’s because we have similar circumstances, or because I know him a little more now, but the pull that’s been getting stronger for the last day tightens and snaps around my heart. I don’t know what it means except that I don’t want to let go. I remove one of my hands from his but keep hold of him with the other, feeling the need for a physical connection with him. Pleased that he doesn’t pull his hand away from mine, I continue eating with one hand.
“Do you want another drink?” I ask as we finish clearing our plates, and he shakes his head.
He goes off to visit the bathroom and I ask for the bill. When our server brings it over, she also places down a napkin with a cartoon drawing on it. I see it’s a pretty good likeness of us.
“Did you do this?” I ask, impressed, and Ana smiles.
“This job is just to pay the bills. I’m an artist and writer by day. You two looked cute together, so I thought I’d draw you.”
“Well thanks, it’s lovely,” I say and add a good tip to the bill. It’s probably what she was hoping for but I don’t mind. I pick up the napkin and consider showing Simon, but instead, I tuck it into my wallet. It’ll be a reminder of us when all this is over. I hate the empty feeling that thought brings, and I rise, looking round for Simon. I’m suddenly restless and want to get back to the hotel.
The drive back is in silence, but it’s not awkward. I’m processing what I’ve learned tonight, and I guess Simon is thinking as well. I park the car and switch off the engine, but make no move to get out.
“Thanks for dinner, it was lovely. I had a good time,” he says and goes to open the door. It’s a lie. The food was pretty good, but all I did was make him bring up sad memories. It’s not how I want this night to end, how this date should end.
“Simon, wait,” I say and he stops, looking back at me. Words spring up about how I’m feeling, but they get stuck in my throat. I don’t know how to say them to him. I open and close my mouth a few times but nothing comes out. His eyes dull a little and he turns away.
“Do you want to come see the horses?” I blurt out. I wait, holding my breath, and when he looks at me again there’s a slight smile playing on his lips.
“Yes, I’d like that.”
As we enter the barn, Simon heads straight over to Chispa, talking to her first and then slipping into her stall and going to her head. I repress the laugh that threatens to come out. I think he likes my horses more than me. But I understand that, my horses come first. I check on each of them in turn, making sure they have enough water and hay and that they’re warmenough. I know Jorge will have seen to them already, but I like to make sure everything’s as it should be as well. I leave Chispa until last, and when I reach her stall, Simon is stroking her neck and murmuring something to her I can’t hear. She’s slowly munching on her hay, her jaws working as if she’s quietly absorbing what he’s saying. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve told all my troubles to her and others before her. Horses make the best confidants. I leave them both for a few minutes, tidying up some equipment that doesn’t need it. When I return I make a noise so he knows I’m there and join him near her head.
“Were you telling her your secrets?” I ask.
“Something like that.” He certainly looks brighter than he did in the car, and I’m glad he’s lost the veil of sadness. I step closer to him and put my arms round him, and he leans against me, resting his head on my shoulder.
“Would you like to come to my room?” I ask, and I feel him sigh deeply.
“No. I’ve had a great day Andrés, but I’m tired and not up for sex tonight.”
“Come anyway, please. There doesn’t have to be sex. I don’t want to be alone.” I tighten my arms around him. It’s true. I’d rather have Simon just next to me in bed than for it to be empty.
“It is more comfortable than mine,” he says, as if that’s the only reason, but I sense the smile in his voice.
“Do you mind if I just go to bed? I’m about ready to collapse,” Simon asks once we’re in my suite. I tell him it’s fine and go to the bathroom. By the time I return he’s already undressed andcurled up under the duvet. I quickly peel off my clothes and join him.
“Can I hold you?” I ask softly. He nods and shifts over into my embrace. He feels right there, perfectly fitting into me. I know it’s only been a few nights, but a bed without him in it is going to feel like a lonely place. I don’t know how I’m going to be able to let him go, but that’s a problem for another day. Right now I just want him in my arms. He settles deeper and his breathing softens, and within minutes he’s asleep.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
SIMON
As soon as sleep loosens its grip on me I become aware that again I’m not in my own room. A memory surfaces of Andrés inviting me back, and the evening comes back to me. He wanted my story and he got it. The hurt of losing my parents and the shame and failure of losing everything have receded overnight to their usual dull ache at the back of my mind. Bringing it all up last night took a lot out of me, but Andrés didn’t make light of it. He offered his silent support, compassion in his dark warm eyes while I told my sorry tale, and still asked me to stay with him, accepting that it wasn’t going to be a hookup. I remember his arms around me as I fell asleep. I don’t know what it is anymore, it’s not a hookup for sure, but I can’t label it. I dare not, as I’m painfully aware it’ll be over soon.
I reach for my phone and check the time. It’s early, but not so early that it would be worth trying to sleep again. Instead I turn over and look at Andrés. He’s lying on his front, facing away from me, and I can’t help reaching out to touch his shoulders,running my hand down his back. Feeling his muscles under his skin, that strength that picked me up so easily. I trace my fingers over his tight and shapely arse, honed by years in the saddle, and strong thighs that help him stay there when he’s leaning over hitting a ball up the field.
“See-mon.” His voice is low and languid.
“Hmmm,” I reply, applying light touches up the back of his thigh and over his arse. Every inch of him is gorgeous.
“See-mon.” This time it’s husky with a hint of need, and my cock stirs.
He turns over, his eyes still heavy with sleep.
“Hey,” I whisper and his mouth curves into a smile. I hadn’t taken my hand away as he turned and now it connects with the springy hair at the base of his dick. I run my fingers through it and over his long cock, feeling it harden to my touch.
“See-mon.” He emits a heady moan and rolls over on top of me, pushing me onto my back, his arms braced on either side of me. His hardness lines up with my cock, rousing it’s semi state to fully hard. I can’t help palming it, rubbing a thumb over the end while my hand strokes up and down his. He looks down between us at my hands and gives a few slow thrusts into my palm.
