Can’t wait to kiss that dirty mouth of yours.
Can’t wait to wrap my mouth around...
I snort and half the other passengers in business class look up at me. Two can play at that game. We start taxiing down the runway, so I just have time to fire off a message containing a mouth and a peach emoji, and I hope he has a store full of customers.
Smiling to myself, I switch my phone to airplane mode. Once we’re airborne, I reach for my carry on to pull out my laptop and find a small cotton drawstring bag in there. I frown, pulling it out. I packed my bag myself. It didn’t leave my presence the whole time, and it went through security alright. It’s soft and squashy, just big enough to fit in the palm of my hand. Intrigued, I open it up and peer inside. A lump forms in my throat and I can hardly breathe. It’s a knitted heart, just like the one he made me twenty years ago, except this time it’s inhiscolors. The gray, green, and brown, just like his sweater vest. He’s given me a piece of himself. It’s a good thing we’re already in the air, because if we were still on the ground, I’d be scrambling past everyone to get off, unable to leave him. Instead, I close my hand around it and keep it with me for the rest of the flight.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Holden
I sigh deeply and Clara groans.
“This is worse than when he was here.”
“I’m missing him,” I protest, and she takes a bulk bag of yarn off me and goes to do some restocking.
“It’s only been three days.” It might as well have been three lifetimes. Okay that is a little dramatic, but I’m really struggling to deal with the Reece-shaped hole in my life, my bed, everywhere. “How am I going to survive another few weeks of this?”
“More importantly, how am I?” Clara stands in front of me with her hands on her hips.
“Sorry, am I annoying?” I ask.
“Yes.” Clara is never one to pull punches. “But I get it, I truly do, and I’m pleased to see you’ve found someone who makes you happy.”
“I am happy,” I say, pulling another bulk bag of yarn from the large box that was delivered from the supplier this morning, grateful that Clara could come and help as I’m being pretty useless. A thought pops into my head. “What if he forgets about me once he’s back home?”
Clara just gives me a look and takes the yarn from me. I know she thinks I’m being ridiculous, but now it’s in there it wedges itself into every doubt I have and widens the cracks.
“What if he finds that he doesn’t want to work remotely anymore? Or Nolan doesn’t agree to him moving over here? What if I was nothing more than a distraction, something fun while he was here, to be discarded once he gets home? What if he has someone else?” The last comes out as a wail and I double over. My hands start shaking and I find it difficult to breathe. I stumble forward, unable to see properly due to the spots in front of my eyes. I hear Clara curse under her breath, and then she’s taking my elbow and guiding me into the easy chair. I sit with my forearms on my knees and my head bowed while she rubs my back until I can breathe again. My hands are still shaking, though. I lift my head and look at her, and she gives me a soft smile. She might not put up with any crap, but she is a supportive friend and has always been there for me.
“Well, this is a pretty mess, isn’t it? I don’t think you’ve had a panic attack since you heard he was coming back in the first place.”
“I’m being foolish, aren’t I?”
“No. I think your fears might be a little far-fetched, and from what I’ve seen of Reece and what you’ve told me of the texts and calls you’ve had since he left, they may be unfounded. But they are still your fears and so they’re valid.”
“I’m hopeless, aren’t I? I can’t function without him.”
“Well, why don’t you do something about it?”
“Like what?”
“Go to him.”
“I can’t do that.”
“Why not?” she says, like it’s the easiest thing in the world.
“I can’t leave the store, and I can’t just close it.”
“I have a few weeks leave. I’ll take them and keep the store open. It’ll be good practice for whenever you get your next store. Why don’t you surprise him?” I think for a minute. It would be possible, and I trust her, or else I wouldn’t be planning for her to work for me. No, this is a crazy plan, I can’t just drop everything and go after Reece.
“But . . .” I trail off because there’s not much else keeping me here.
“I wouldn’t know where to find him.” I voice the first thought that comes into my head.
“Maybe, but you do know someone who does.”
