CHAPTER ONE
Reece
“Do you think I should go to the reunion?” I ask during dinner, savoring the flavors of Marina’s famous mac and cheese.
“Do you want to go?” This comes from Levi and is accompanied with a shrug, as if the question’s a simple one. But it’s not. I wonder if it’s the advantage of youth that prompts him to ask it. But at twenty-three, although he is fifteen years younger than me, he’s had a hard life already and doesn’t say anything lightly.
“I don’t know,” I sigh, meaning it. Twenty years ago I walked away from the small town I grew up in, and the country, glad to leave it all behind back then and vowing never to return. But now, with the distance of time, indecision makes me falter.
I look around at the four of us gathered for family dinner, something I never thought possible a few months ago, mostly because I didn’t have any family on this side of the pond. But life can take a funny turn when you least expect it, and finding out a few months ago that I had a half brother, Mackinley, onlya few months older than me, was certainly unexpected. I wish I’d known about him sooner, but now we’re making up for it with family dinner every couple of weeks. There’s Marina, Mac’s mom and the woman my dad cheated on my mom with the night before their wedding. Then there’s Levi, Mac’s boyfriend, an old soul in a young body. We’re also often joined by Nolan, Mac’s best friend, who also happens to be my business partner, but he’s recently met a new guy after a terrible year and being dumped by his last boyfriend. He says it’s too early to bring Ulrich to family dinner, but I’m sure it won’t be long as he sounds like the perfect guy for Nolan.
“I know your mum would be pleased to see you,” Marina says.
“I knew there’d be consequences when I introduced you to each other,” I say jokingly and she gives me a grin. Marina and my mom are very similar, and finding out that Marina is as keen a knitter as my mom is, I introduced them over Zoom. Since then I know they’ve formed a friendship and talk regularly, swapping knitting patterns and ideas. It doesn’t surprise me if they talk about Mac and me as well. She’s not wrong, though, I would like to see my mom again. She’s visited me a few times, and we’ve met up for small breaks together over the years, but I’ve never been back home. Seeing my mom is definitely a positive reason for going, it’s just all the negative ones I’m worried about.
Marina starts gathering up the empty plates, but Levi jumps up to take them off her and deposits them next to the sink.
“We’ll wash up,” he announces, and Mac rises to help him by gathering up the empty serving dishes.
“Come on, I think we’ll be in the way in here.” Marina smirks and I glance at Mac and Levi already standing close by the sink and talking softly to each other, Levi looking adoringly at Mac. Igive a little sigh. I’m happy my brother has someone who loves him so much, but I’ve never had anyone look at me like that and I can’t see it happening anytime soon.
I follow Marina out of the kitchen and into the living room. All the rooms in her lovely old cottage are small, but what they lack in size they make up for in color. There’s an array of bright cushions and throws, all knitted by Marina.
She settles into her usual chair and takes up her knitting. I’m not sure what she’s making but it looks complex. I take a place on the couch next to her.
“Aren’t there any old school friends you’d like to catch up with?” she asks, her knitting needles clacking together in a soothing rhythm.
“Not really,” I say casually, but she tilts her head and fixes me with a look that says she sees right through that shit.
“I had friends I hung out with, but none of them were close. The last couple of years were hard for me, what with my parents’ divorce?—”
I stop, suddenly remembering that she might not want to hear any stories about my father, but she dismisses my hesitation.
“You can talk about him, Reece,” she says softly. “I’ve heard enough from your mum to know what it was like back then.” Her smile is kind and I wonder if that’s another way my mom and Marina have bonded, not just over knitting.
“Well, let’s just say that their breakup affected me in ways I’m not proud of,” I reply and leave it there, not willing to share any more. I didn’t realise until I left just how much it had messed me up, and it took a lot of therapy sessions while I was in uni hereto unravel that. This is the reason for my indecision about going back. I’m no longer the angry teenager who left, the one who thought the universe was against him, but there are many who’ll remember me like that and I don’t know if I can face them.
“I forget how alike you and Mac are,” she says. “You’re both incredibly stubborn, but you’re also kind, and I think if you see there’s a chance to make something right, you’ll take it.”
“I don’t know if I can make it right,” I reply.
“You never will unless you try.”
I know she’s thinking of her own estrangement from Mac for almost twenty years, and how through Levi she managed to reconnect with him just over six months ago, but my circumstances are very different. One, how do I explain to someone that I wasn’t really the homophobic bully I came across as but a confused young man with raging hormones, a bad influence, and the inability to stand up to him? Two, would he even want to hear my apology and explanation? He’s probably never even thought of me in the last twenty years. In a way, I hope he hasn’t, as I wouldn’t want him to be haunted like I have. The image of his tear-stained face from the day it started is one that will never leave me. I bear it of course, it’s what I deserve for what I did, but I hope he hasn’t suffered. I won’t know the answer to that unless I go back, though, and that’s part of my indecision. Which makes me a coward, I guess. And finally, three. If I could apologise, would he change his mind about me? I don’t know why it matters to me, but it does—a lot. Marina’s right. I’ll never know unless I give it a go, and instead of leaving it as a prickly thorn that occasionally snags causing pain, I have the chance to pull it out. I just hope I’m not too late and the wound hasn’t festered so badly it can’t be healed.
“Alright, I’ll go.” I nod, mostly to myself in acknowledgement of having made the decision. Marina beams at me.
“Good, because I’m coming with you.”
“What?” The word jumps out due to pure surprise, and Marina laughs. Just then the door opens, Levi holding it as Mac brings through a tray holding a teapot, cups, and a tin of biscuits, another of Marina’s specialties.
‘What’s so funny?” he asks, putting the tray down on the coffee table.
“Reece’s reaction to me saying I was going to accompany him to the States,” Marina drops in, and I see Mac’s eyebrows lift though he doesn’t voice his surprise like I did.
“I thought you said you were never going back?” Levi asks, starting to pour out tea for all of us.
“I’m allowed to change my mind,” she says nonchalantly, taking the tea cup Levi hands her and selecting a biscuit from the tin. “Especially since I’ve been invited.”
