“Don’t stop,” he says, voice shaky, bringing me back to the task at hand.
I don’t stop. Not when his breathing turns into short, sharp gasps. Not when his hips start rocking in time with the slide of my lips over his shaft. Not when he lets out a strangled sound, fist against his mouth, as his dick pulses and jerks and shoots against the back of my throat. I swallow and gag. Tears squeeze reflexively from the corners of my eyes. He’s hot and salty and I swallow every drop, keeping it safe. I’ll keep all of him safe.
Austin shakes and twitches as I crawl up his body, kissing here and there. Older scars from our teenage mishaps. Freckles. The laser cat tattoo. I pull one of his nipples between my teeth and his whole body ripples with pleasure.
“Did you learn about that last time?” he asks.
Doesn’t matter what I did and didn’t learn. We can learn it all again together.
There’s more kissing. Fumbling. It’s slower than last time, almost like we knew we only had that night. It felt like we had to say everything and show each other everything we could do. Now it feels like I can pace myself. Like if there are places I don’t get to explore or positions we don’t get to try, there will be other opportunities. You never know when life will send you hurtling into a dense forest and smash you against a rock, but I have to believe that we’ve gotten through that part, and now we have time.
When we’re finally ready, with me kneeling between his thighs and Austin with his legs pulled up against his chest and his slick hole ready for my entrance, I pause, holding the base of my cock tight, telling it to wait just one more second.
“I love you,” I say. “I’ve been in love with you forever. I just didn’t know it then.”
His smile is a million expressions at once. Pleased. Smug. Shy.
“You don’t have to say it back,” I continue quickly. “I know you don’t remember and I haven’t...been a great friend lately. If you want tonight to be about pre-race nerves and letting some stress out, then?—”
“Zed. Bear. I love you. I did then, and I still do now.” His voice is fierce. Sure, I could flop forward and kiss him until we’re both dizzy, but I need something else right now. Without more breathless words, I hitch his leg over one shoulder and slide into him. Our simultaneous sighs are deep and satisfied. We’veneeded this. Waited months and months for it. I kiss the base of his calf. Feel the thin hairs over his thigh.
“Okay?” I ask as I slide back out.
He nods.
“Okay. Then three . . .”
Austin’s confident expression clouds. “What?”
“Two.”
He laughs, covering his face. “You can’t be serious.”
I don’t give him a one. We don’t need it.
CHAPTER
NINETEEN
We do sleep.Eventually. Ivan would be pissed if we showed up for the last day of pre-race prep completely exhausted. I wake up tangled in Austin. Arms, legs, hair, breath. It’s hard to tell where he starts and I end. His head rests on my chest.
“Morning,” he says as I run my fingers over his scalp. His voice is heavy and sleepy. Rich, like good coffee. I want to hear it like that every morning for the rest of my life.
“I miss your long hair,” I say. “It was very rugged.”
He lets his own hand trail over my naked chest. “I liked it too, but I broke my wrist and collarbone. Basic things like brushing my hair were hard for a while. I can grow it out again now.”
A sizzle of regret shoots through my chest. I should have been there. I could have brushed his hair. Ivan even gave me the chance to go, but I was too hurt—in my own way—to accept what he was offering.
But before I can start to second guess, a knock comes on the door, making us both jump.
“Cedric?” Matthieu’s familiar accent comes through the wood. “Let me in.”
I groan, but we’ve had our time. If I’d been here from the beginning with the rest of the team and Austin and I had figured our shit out sooner, we might have found time to get our rooms changed over so we could share this one and Matthieu could bunk properly with Kage. But today is not the day for shuffling suitcases and belongings back and forth.
It’s the day before the Olympics, and we’re on Ivan’s time now.
We take one more trip up the mountain to do a final few passes over the course and inspect the conditions. It’s warmer today than yesterday, though still well below freezing. A fine dusting of snow has come down overnight, enough to make the surface grittier than the day before, but there’s no further precipitation in the forecast, so once all the competitors and coaches have spent their allotted time going over last-minute things, what’s fallen will be packed down onto the base. Tomorrow should be free and clear.
