You stay
“Yeah,” I say. “Yeah. I’m not going anywhere. Don’t worry.”
We sit in silence. His eyes flutter closed, which is good because it means he can’t see me cry. It’s more controlled than it was a minute ago. Soft snuffling sounds as tears slide over my cheeks. I should go. I wanted to see him and now I have. There’s nothing I can do for him. But I can’t walk away. So I sit there, holding his hand while he sleeps. Eventually, I sleep too. After everything, there’s no way to keep it away forever. My head bobs up and down as I try to get comfortable in the chair, but every position is impossible. Somehow, I doze for a bit and dream about Austin. He’s touching me. Kissing me. His hands roam over my body. I’m so hard. So needy. If he would keep going a little more, I would come, but every time I get close, he disappears, leaving me to call for him. Then he’s back and we start over, but we never get to the climax that?—
A soft sound jerks me awake. At first, in my sleepy brain, I think it’s Austin, snuggled up against me and grinding gently as he silently asks for my body again. But then I blink and remember we aren’t in the hotel room. We’re somewhere entirely different and more awful.
Austin groans again, and it’s not from pleasure. He’s awake, but his face contorts and his body stiffens with pain. I can barely stand to look at him.
“Let me go get the nurse,” I say. “I’ll be right back.”
But as I stumble to my feet, the overhead light clicks on, making me stagger backward. Before my vision can clear, a shaking, sobbing form throws itself at me.
“Cedric. Oh my god, Cedric. What happened?”
The nurse from before, the one with the slutty glasses, is standing in the doorway.
“Everything okay?” he asks, shutting the light off again.
“I think he needs something for the pain,” I say, before turning my attention to the weeping woman in my arms.
It’s Austin’s mom. Donna. I’ve known her for more than half my life. She’s driven me to races, fed me dinner. I know the smell of her house and the place in the back row of her minivan where I scratched the seat with a pole while packing up after a race in the Laurentians. I hid it with my coat for the whole drive home because I was sure she would make me pay for the damage, and I was a fourteen-year-old kid with no money because I’d spent it all on a new pair of ice blue skis for the winter. When I finally admitted what I’d let happen, she’d hugged me and told me she’d raised three children and scratched minivans came with the territory.
“It’s all right,” she said. “I could never be mad at you. You’re like my own kid.”
I squeeze her, repeating the same thing. It’s all right. All right.
Finally, she lets me go to sit in the chair I just vacated. The nurse must have topped up Austin’s morphine or whatever, because his face is relaxed again and his eyes closed.
“Where’s Patrick?” I ask, looking back to the door like Austin’s father might appear at any moment.
She shakes her head. “He couldn’t make the drive. Not with his back the way it is. We’d have had to break the trip up and...” She looks up at me. Her whole face is puffy, like she’s been crying for hours. From Ottawa to here is at least a six-hour drive with no stops. She must have got in the car almost immediately. “They called us this afternoon. They said there was an accident and that he was going into surgery.” Her voice breaks as she stares at her son. After a few more minutes she holds out herhand, and I take it. She presses it to her cheek. “I’m so glad you were here, Cedric. So he didn’t have to be alone.”
My hand shakes in hers, but she doesn’t let go. Suddenly I feel like I’m nine years old all over again. I want to tell her everything. How it’s my fault. The race. That I didn’t recognize his call for help right away. That I didn’t have my phone. I want her to absolve me like she did with the stupid minivan, but this and that aren’t even close to being the same. I may have ended Austin’s racing career. She can’t forgive me for that.
“I didn’t want him to be alone,” I say, voice wavering.
She squeezes me again. “Of course. You’ve always been his best friend.”
I nod. That’s me. Reliable best friend. Her other son, even if I have a family of my own.
As I stand by my best friend’s side, with the woman closer to me than almost anyone besides my own parents, I’ve never felt lonelier in my entire life.
CHAPTER
NINE
Excerpt from Canada News Corporationarticle, March 28, 2025
Canadian Skier Austin Grimm in Hospital After Dangerous Ski Accident
Canadian ski cross star Austin Grimm is in hospital following a dangerous skiing accident. The 22-year-old from Orléans, Ontario, was near Birmingham, Maine, for a World Cup ski cross event, but was injured on Monday morning following a photoshoot for the outerwear brand Apex.
“The shoot was over and Austin and some of his teammates and friends were headed back to the lodge when there was a crash,” says Freestyle Ski Canada spokesperson Tara Parker. Parker further confirmed that Grimm suffered a broken jaw, broken collarbone, cracked ribs, a collapsed lung and liver laceration, as well as fractures to one wrist and ankle.
The accident is a tragic finish to what had been a spectacular weekend for Grimm, where he won the World Cup ski cross event hosted at the Holiday River ski resort. This was Grimm’s second victory on the World Cup circuit this year and fifth top-three finish. His performance at Holiday River secured him a spot to represent Canada in ski cross during next year’s OlympicGames in Milano-Cortina, Italy. Whether he will be able to compete now is unclear.
“It’s too early to speculate on the future of Austin’s athletic career,” says Canada Ski team doctor, Joseph Wallace. “He has a great medical team looking after him in the US and we look forward to continuing his recovery once he’s back home in Canada.”
