“Yeah.” Jasper takes my hand in the dark. “Once, I showed up and told you who I was—or who I should have been, I guess. A med student. I was about to start my residency and was specializing in pediatrics. I told you all about Lexi. We talked about saving the world.” Even in the dark, I can see the glint of his teeth as he smiles. “It was a really fun time.”
“Sounds like it.” I snuggle deeper into my pillow, ignoring the pang of annoyance that Jasper gets to remember that date and I don’t.
“But it wasn’t real, regardless of what story I told you and whether you liked me or not. And we went our separate ways at the end of the night, and sometime later, you died and we started all over again. So even if we had fun, it didn’t mean anything.” He lets out a heavy sigh, and I can’t help myself when I squeeze him tighter. How frustrating it must have been to be stuck with me over and over without me ever remembering who he was. “I got angry. I avoided you for a few days after. And the next time, I showed up and told you who I really was, and you didn’t give me the time of day.”
I laugh. My body is relaxing as he talks.
“If you need henching,” I say.
“Yeah. That one.”
I’m so close to sleep that it takes me a minute to realize what he’s saying.
“You mean . . .”
“I only told you what I really did once. And that was the day you started remembering.”
Ugh. Would it have been better if we’d gone through this with me believing his lie? If I’d remembered earlier and thought he was a doctor on a mission to help people like I was?
I wake up enough to make my muscles work, squeezing his hand.
“I’m sorry it took so long for me to see who you really are.”
“You know now.” He dips his head down to kiss my lip and I snuggle into him. I fall asleep in his arms and think about how many more nights I could be this lucky.
A crash wakes me. My heart pounds as I wait for the hands to grab me and yank me out of bed again, but they don’t come. I lie still, waiting for my nerves to settle. I don’t know how long I’ve been asleep, but it feels like a while. Light pours out of the bathroom, making me squint. The rest of the bed is empty.
Another crash comes, followed by a groan.
“Jasper?” But I’m already moving before he can reply.
He’s on the floor in the bathroom, crumpled on the tile.
“Jasper!” I drop to my knees. He groans again, then lets out a choking cough that makes my heart squeeze. “Jasper.” I roll him over, and bright red blood glistens on the tile floor. His skin is the colour of the ceramic beneath him, and his forehead shines with sweat.
The bruise on his chest has gone from being the size of my palm to the size of a plate. I can practically see where the blood is dripping inside of him.
“What’s going on?” I ask.
He puts his hand to his chest. “Hurts to breathe.” He coughs again, and the blood on his lips is crimson.
“Was someone here?”
He winces. “No. I woke up and it was hurting. You said it hurt.”
“Not like this.” I pull a towel off the rack and wipe his mouth before I grab a second towel and place it under his head. “Stay here. I’m calling an ambulance.”
He’s dying. Again. I can’t watch him go all over again.
“Morgan,” he wheezes. “It’s okay. You know what to do. If I stay dead this time, I?—”
“No.” I put my fingers over his lips. “No, don’t say it. I’ll get you back.”
“Morgan.”
But I’m not having this conversation. Not watching him die again. Partners. That’s what we agreed.
I lie down next to him. He groans when I roll him to face me.
