Logic tries to argue I’m being overly cautious. Indigo can’t be in two places at once. He’s either at the lab or at Ziro Hall. Unless Vee’s right and he really can teleport. I’m not taking the chance of being interrupted again. Not a second time.
“The mood? I—” Jasper pauses, then his cheeks go a really cute shade of pink. He’s trying too hard to be cool, but his smile is shy and it only makes my heart beat faster. “Oh. Oh, yeah, we can do that.”
“Might as well. We’ve got all the time in the world.” And yes, yes. There’s the question of my dead mother in the basement at the lab. But she can wait, right? Two years and sixty some-odd days, plus or minus a hundred or more days Jasper and I have forgotten. What’s a few more hours? I know I said sex with Jasper was either desperation or a feelings mess, but everything else is a mess too, so what do we have to lose? I’ve spent my entire life trying to figure out how I can be of service to other people. My mother died, and my reaction was to lock myself in a lab for two years, focused entirely on saving the world instead of looking after myself. It’s time to be selfish, if only for a little bit. I’ll be dead again by sunrise, and then we can get to the crime fighting.
There’s no sign of Jasper’s family as I park my car. They must be deep into their girls’ night. I let Jasper lead the way up the stairs to his apartment. But once he closes the door, I press him up against the wall, pulling at the buttons of his shirt while Ikiss him. His smell and his taste are exactly the way I remember them. It was already fading from his borrowed shirt as I worked yesterday at Wench, so to have the real thing to touch and breathe in is like winning the lottery.
“Morgan. Morgan, wait.” He escapes my hungry mouth and hands.
“What? What’s wrong?” I ask, breathless. “We’re picking up where we left off.”
He pulls his hat off, running a hand through his hair. “Is that all?”
My brain is swamped with sensation. There’s no time for conversation. “What do you mean?”
Jasper blows out an annoyed breath. “I mean, are you only scratching an itch? Or you’re happy to see me? Because trust me, I know that feeling, but if it’s only gratitude, then maybe we’re better off if we?—”
“I got your video,” I blurt out.
“My video?” Jasper asks.
“The one you sent the last time we were here. I was in the shower, and...” My face heats and I have to drop my gaze as doubts win over need. The room gets quiet for a second before his feet sound on the carpeted floor. It’s hard to let him pull me to him. I liked it better when I was in charge. But his kiss is soft, and I don’t feel threatened by it. I say, “I thought you wanted?—”
“I wasn’t asking you to pledge your undying love to me,” he says. “I know you don’t remember as many days as I do. You didn’t get a chance to know me, so I can’t expect you to say the things that I did.”
I laugh. “From what you’ve said, I didn’t give you much chance to get to know me either.”
His fingers on my cheek are gentle. “No. But I liked what I saw. And I still do. But in the car... you said you wanted to finish what we started. If this is about checking something off alist or killing time because we have nothing else to do, then... I mean, I’ll do it. But I want to know.”
I could pull out of his arms. Maybe unbutton my shirt. Undo my fly. He’d know what my answer was.
But I missed him while he was gone. And I can’t deny what I felt the instant he walked through the door, or even before. I covered it with snark and insults because I couldn’t reconcile what I felt with his job. But that’s not standing in the way anymore. And maybe, if we get out of this thing, I can try being honest with myself more often. In the meantime, I can try to be honest with him.
I cover his hand with mine. “There’s no one I would want to get stuck on an endless blind date with more than you,” I say. “And I’m sorry for the things I said before you told me about your family. I shouldn’t have been so quick to judge. I know it’s not as simple as black and white.”
He brushes his thumb along my bottom lip, and I take a chance to clasp the tip of it between my teeth. His breath catches as he pulls his hand free, but he replaces his thumb with his mouth, and maybe I’ve said enough?
But he says, “I think you’re being a little hard on yourself.”
Hard on myself? I stare at him with wide disbelieving eyes. “I’ve done nothing but fight with you and belittle you. You’re a nice guy, Jasper, but you don’t have to bethisnice.”
He’s holding me close, and I feel so safe. Almost peaceful, which is something entirely new for me. His touch is gentle when he says, “You challenge me and make me question the choices I thought only had one answer.”
“Jasper,” I say, aching. “My mother died. I’ve been so alone and angry and—” But I don’t get to finish as he pulls me off my feet. Our mouths collide as he takes a few stumbling steps back, and I fall with him, until he’s sitting at the edge of the bed and I get to my knees, straddling his lap.
“I’m asking you to let me in,” he says. “You don’t have to love me. You only have to let me be more than a henchman.”
I rest my forehead against his collarbone. He’s so much more than a henchman. We’re past that. Past my failings too. No more sidekicks. No more regrets. And whatever that thing I saw was, it wasn’t my mother. Just a mirage or a trick to keep me distracted until Indigo can find me again. The dead don’t return. The future is me and Jasper.
“Partners,” I say, holding out my hand to shake.
“Partners.” He doesn’t shake. Instead, he finally kisses me the way I’ve been wanting him to since he walked through the door at Wench.
Jasper’s hands slide over my body and we slowly remove each other’s clothes. We get to know each other in a way we haven’t before. A bite on his bottom lip makes him groan. His fingers on the small of my back make me arch toward him. Jasper doesn’t like it when I kiss his earlobes but makes a pleased, possessive sound when I drag my nails down his back. As I slide a hand to his groin, his lips part and his eyes flutter half shut.
“Morgan.”
“Don’t pass out on me here,” I say.
